In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In many cultures, children are taught to
work
hard in order to achieve something in life. Use synonyms
While
the message has some advantages, disadvantages should be taken into consideration. Linking Words
This
essay aims to outline the pros and cons of Linking Words
this
practice.
On the one hand, repeatedly reminding a child to maintain hard Linking Words
work
can boost his motivation. The young should know that things don’t come to them easily and that they must accomplish good Use synonyms
work
to get to their goal. Use synonyms
As a consequence
, a person will gain motivation to Linking Words
work
harder and harder. To illustrate, my elder brother who finished his bachelor's and master's in one of Hong Kong’s best universities couldn’t have done it If my parents didn’t teach him the importance of hard Use synonyms
work
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, a child can take these messages in a wrong way or too direct. Linking Words
In other words
, by hearing these kinds of words from adults, the chances of taking every single Linking Words
work
too seriously and complicated are highly possible. Simple summative assessment can be overtaken by children which can Use synonyms
further
lead to stress, anxiety, and frustration. Linking Words
For instance
, the majority of A+ students are constantly told to struggle with every subject in school, Linking Words
therefore
they tend to self-blame.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
Linking Words
this
case has advantages, we should not forget about its disadvantages either. Smart Linking Words
work
is always better than hard Use synonyms
work
, and Use synonyms
that is
why people should stop pressing kids to do hard Linking Words
work
.Use synonyms
Submitted by naira.gumar on
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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt by exploring both the advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner. You've done this well, but more detailed exploration of each could deepen your response.
coherence
To improve coherence, try linking your paragraphs more explicitly, so the transition from one idea to the next is smoother. Use linking words or phrases that show cause and effect, contrast, or elaboration.
cohesion
Include more specific examples to support your main points. While you provided an anecdote about your brother, additional real-world examples or statistics could strengthen your argument.
task response
Balancing the discussion by dedicating roughly equal portions of your essay to both the advantages and disadvantages can enhance the reader's understanding and engagement.
coherence and cohesion
Consider refining your conclusion to not just restate your thesis but also to succinctly summarize the key points made in the body paragraphs, showing how they lead to your final perspective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.