IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some parents put too much pressure on their children. To what extent do you agree?

#parents #pressure #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The younger generation is the future of every country around the world. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
pressure
Use synonyms
 parents put on their kids has been a debatable topic for years. Some commentators believe that putting too much
pressure
Use synonyms
 helps children to succeed better in
life
Use synonyms
, whereas others believe it could hamper a child’s upbringing. In my opinion, a moderate
amount
Use synonyms
 of
pressure
Use synonyms
 could be helpful in motivating and keeping children on track.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in many countries, parents are concerned about their societal image. They compare the results of their children with their relatives or friend's offspring. To maintain a status in society, children are put under undue stress to study continuously for hours and attend various extra classes.
For example
Linking Words
, if a child scored 80% marks in his midterms, parents start to think about it as a competition and start pushing their kid to study harder and perform better than him in his final exams.
This
Linking Words
 could make an alteration in a child’s behaviour and make him rebellious towards his parents and his outlook on
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it has been evident, that some
amount
Use synonyms
 of
pressure
Use synonyms
 has helped many children achieve their dreams and stay motivated towards their goal. At a young age, people make wrong choices like wasting their precious time making new friends and going off track from their original goal. Many parents keep on reminding their children about their dreams and keep them motivated by supporting their
life
Use synonyms
 choices, guiding them out of hardship which they may face. To recapitulate, every person has a different personality and their reaction to the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
pressure
Use synonyms
 varies.
Linking Words
Therefore in
Accept comma addition
Therefore, in
 my opinion, a lot of
pressure
Use synonyms
 could make a rebellious child and not perform at his optimal level, but a moderate
amount
Use synonyms
 of
pressure
Use synonyms
 and support from their parents would only help them to excel in their
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by charanpreet.s22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • extracurricular activities
  • prosperous future
  • societal standards
  • peer competition
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • unfulfilled ambitions
  • resource availability
  • opportunity exploitation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: