IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Your office building doesn’t have enough parking spaces. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: · explain the problem · suggest a solution · say why more parking spaces would benefit all employees

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to address potential issues regarding unavailable parking spots. I am Jojo, one of the employees who have been working in the software department since 2004.
Although
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 we never faced any difficulties in parking our vehicles, recently owing to the new office in the building, the space does not seem to accommodate all the staff.
Moreover
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, because of the rules certain co-workers always struggle to find suitable spots.
For instance
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, first-come first-serve makes it hard for the employees who start their day later as all the spots are occupied by the workers who come first. I would request you to install new parking racks beside and in front of the building. We have plenty of space which can be utilised for parking. Installing new parking racks will have their own merits.
Firstly
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, it will reduce the time looking for alternative parking as we will have plenty of space.
Secondly
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, it can save the workers a lot of money because the parking fee near the commercial area
charges
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a hefty amount. I hope you take
this
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 suggestion into consideration. Yours sincerely, Jojo

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task achievement
Include a more detailed explanation of the problem to enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear greeting and closing, making it polite and professional.
task achievement
Your suggestions for solutions are practical and relevant.
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