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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is said that the education system is the most critical factor in the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The role of
education
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 in national progress has long been a subject of debate among policymakers and scholars.
While
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 various factors
such
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 as economic stability, political governance, and technological innovation contribute to a country’s advancement, I firmly believe that a robust
education
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system
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 is the cornerstone of sustainable
development
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.
This
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 is because
education
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 not only cultivates human capital but
also
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 fosters social cohesion and drives innovation. An effective
education
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system
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 equips individuals with the knowledge, skills, and critical thinking abilities necessary for economic productivity.
For example
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, countries like Singapore and Finland have demonstrated that investing heavily in quality
education
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 directly translates into a highly skilled workforce, which in turn attracts foreign investment and stimulates domestic industries. Without a well-educated population, nations struggle to compete in the global economy, regardless of their natural resources or geographic advantages. Beyond economic benefits,
education
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 plays a pivotal role in shaping responsible citizens. Schools and universities instil values
such
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 as tolerance, civic responsibility, and respect for diversity, which are essential for maintaining social harmony.
For instance
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, post-war Germany’s emphasis on civic
education
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 was instrumental in rebuilding a democratic society.
In contrast
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, a poorly educated population is more susceptible to misinformation, social unrest, and divisive ideologies. In the modern era, innovation is the engine of growth, and
education
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 fuels
this
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 engine. Universities and research institutions are breeding grounds for technological breakthroughs, medical advancements, and creative industries. The rise of Silicon Valley,
for example
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, is closely tied to the strong academic foundations provided by institutions
such
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 as Stanford University. Without an
education
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system
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 that nurtures research and creativity, nations risk stagnating in a rapidly evolving global landscape. Admittedly, factors like political stability and infrastructure are
also
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 vital for national
development
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. A corrupt government can undermine even the most well-designed
education
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system
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.
However
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,
education
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 empowers citizens to hold leaders accountable, make informed decisions, and contribute to building effective institutions. In
this
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 way,
education
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 indirectly strengthens other pillars of
development
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. In conclusion,
while
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 no single factor can entirely determine a nation’s trajectory, the
education
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system
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 undeniably serves as the bedrock upon which all other elements rest. A country with an enlightened, skilled, and innovative populace is far better positioned to achieve sustainable economic growth, social harmony, and global competitiveness.
Therefore
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, I strongly agree that
education
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 is the most critical driver of national
development
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.

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strength
You show a clear view that education is key and you back it with reasons.
tip
Some ideas could be tied closer to the main idea. Use more direct links to show how each point shows the role of education.
tip
Add one or two more specific facts or dates to show real impact.
overall
Clear position and strong growth idea.
structure
Good structure with the three major ideas: economy, society, innovation.
content
Good use of examples from real places.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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