IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math. How far do you agree or disagree?

#people #computer #skills #subjects #school #math
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Utilizing computers can create creative children at the early age. There is an inextricable link between computers and
brain
Suggestion
the brain
.
For example
, you should use your
brain
 to solve a problem when you work with a software in a
computer
.
This
 can lead to an active
brain
. Since children at an early age, those who are in elementary
school
, has a fresh mind in comparison with other children their
brain
 has more capacity to analysis data and work with computers.
This
 is likely to create a powerful
brain
 and enables those children to think outside the box.
Furthermore
, learning
computer
 skills in elementary
school
 can lead to the high capability of children to find a job in the competitive job in the future. In many countries
such
 as Iran, my country, companies
prefer
Suggestion
prefers
 to recruit staffs those who have a high performance in
computer
 skills. Even in some cases knowing
computer
 skills is compulsory.
Thus
, if children learn
computer
 skills sooner, in elementary
school
, they have more time to become an expert in
this
 field and when they grow up would stand a better chance to land a job.
However
, some people may argue learning
computer
 skills in elementary
school
 can be perplexing for children because computers are
such
 a complex tool. But I believe that like other subjects there is an instructor for
computer
 skills so it would be easy for children to learn that skill. In conclusion, I think it is important for children to learn
computer
 skills as soon as possible, in elementary schools, since at an early age
children’s
Suggestion
child’s
 mind is
prepare
Suggestion
prepared
 to learn skills and learning
this
 subject gives them a chance to find an occupation in their future life.
Submitted by majid.safaei on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: