These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Today, a lot of people prefer to protect their

health

Use synonyms

believe

Suggestion

believing

in physicians and medicine than by observance to the healthy style of

life

Use synonyms

. They may not manage

this

Linking Words

system, or they think our

health

Use synonyms

should be kept by doctors. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and I will explain my agreement with relevant examples in

this

Linking Words

essay.

First

Linking Words

of all, in

present

Suggestion

the present

, we can see

such

Linking Words

kinds of people who conserve their

health

Use synonyms

via

visit

Suggestion

a visit

visits

to the hospitals at clinics. According to topic's theme their quantity is risen increasingly. So as I said I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

theme. As a reason, it is right judgement. The most humans who don't adhere to

beneficial method

Suggestion

a beneficial method

life

Use synonyms

are going to doctors for

preserve

Suggestion

preserving

health

Use synonyms

. Yet, they are wrongful.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they should protect own

life

Use synonyms

themselves.

For example

Linking Words

, they should eat more profitable foods

such

Linking Words

as, fruits, vegetables, beans and milky products.

Secondly

Linking Words

, If they have a serious problem, they may address to medicine. The doctors will help them. They may give a lot of useful consultations, they may prescribe to receive drugs.

For instance

Linking Words

, pills and curative juleps.

However

Linking Words

, their

first

Linking Words

advice may be healthy lifestyle. They direct them to the correct method of

life

Use synonyms

which include a lot of things.

For instance

Linking Words

, eating and sleeping habits, regular sport activities and sometimes clothing manners too. In conclusion, there are so many folk who save their

health

Use synonyms

via incorrect way. So, they should protect it with

healthy lifestyle

Suggestion

a healthy lifestyle

. It may prevent the bad illnesses and sicknesses.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it may give a chance to feel more awake than

past

Suggestion

the past

jamolkh2002

May 15, 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.