These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle

Today, a lot of people prefer to protect their

health

believe

Suggestion

believing

in physicians and medicine than by observance to the healthy style of

life

. They may not manage

this

system, or they think our

health

should be kept by doctors. I totally agree with

this

statement and I will explain my agreement with relevant examples in

this

essay.

First

of all, in

present

Suggestion

the present

, we can see

such

kinds of people who conserve their

health

via

visit

Suggestion

a visit

visits

to the hospitals at clinics. According to topic's theme their quantity is risen increasingly. So as I said I completely agree with

this

theme. As a reason, it is right judgement. The most humans who don't adhere to

beneficial method

Suggestion

a beneficial method

life

are going to doctors for

preserve

Suggestion

preserving

health

. Yet, they are wrongful.

Firstly

, they should protect own

life

themselves.

For example

, they should eat more profitable foods

such

as, fruits, vegetables, beans and milky products.

Secondly

, If they have a serious problem, they may address to medicine. The doctors will help them. They may give a lot of useful consultations, they may prescribe to receive drugs.

For instance

, pills and curative juleps.

However

, their

first

advice may be healthy lifestyle. They direct them to the correct method of

life

which include a lot of things.

For instance

, eating and sleeping habits, regular sport activities and sometimes clothing manners too. In conclusion, there are so many folk who save their

health

via incorrect way. So, they should protect it with

healthy lifestyle

Suggestion

a healthy lifestyle

. It may prevent the bad illnesses and sicknesses.

Additionally

, it may give a chance to feel more awake than

past

Suggestion

the past

Submitted by jamolkh2002 on Fri May 15 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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