The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn

The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn
The line graph illustrates the turtle
population
in India divided by four different species between 1980 and 2012.
Overall
, the amount of Olive Ridley was identical to that of other categories in the first year and increased remarkably in the following decades. In detail, in 1980, 100
units
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for each type of
turtles
Fix the agreement mistake
turtle
show examples
. From 1980 to 1990,
Olive
Correct article usage
the Olive
show examples
Ridley specie witnessed a gradual rise in
population
,
while
other sectors fluctuated over the period. After 1980, the amount of Olive Ridley specie surged to 140
units
in 1998 and oscillated for 14 years,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
for roughly 130
units
in the final year.
Moreover
, the
second
most populated was all species. It remained almost unchanged in the unit compared to the initial year. After the fluctuation of
green
Correct article usage
the green
show examples
turtle
population
Add a comma
,population
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
reduced by 10
units
and made up of 90
units
.
However
,
Leatherback
Correct article usage
the Leatherback
show examples
population
dropped remarkably to about 60
units
in 2012.
Submitted by fernnizz.r on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, units with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: