IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn

The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the turtle
population
Use synonyms
 in India divided by four different species between 1980 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of Olive Ridley was identical to that of other categories in the first year and increased remarkably in the following decades. In detail, in 1980, 100
units
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for each type of
turtles
Fix the agreement mistake
turtle
show examples
. From 1980 to 1990,
Olive
Correct article usage
the Olive
show examples
 Ridley specie witnessed a gradual rise in
population
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 other sectors fluctuated over the period. After 1980, the amount of Olive Ridley specie surged to 140
units
Use synonyms
 in 1998 and oscillated for 14 years,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for roughly 130
units
Use synonyms
 in the final year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
second
Linking Words
 most populated was all species. It remained almost unchanged in the unit compared to the initial year. After the fluctuation of
green
Correct article usage
the green
show examples
 turtle
Use synonyms
population
Add a comma
,population
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 reduced by 10
units
Use synonyms
 and made up of 90
units
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Leatherback
Correct article usage
the Leatherback
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 dropped remarkably to about 60
units
Use synonyms
 in 2012.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: