IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005.

The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005.
#value #exports #fuel #food #goods #country
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The graphs bellows indicate the
value
 of
food
,
fuel
, manufactured
goods
 and the total
value
 of exports by one country between 2000 and 2005. In general,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel
 was
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 decrease from 2000 to 2005
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 was not a lot of changes, but the manufactured fluctuated by each year. In 2000,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel
 was highest
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 45000
million
dollars
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 the numbers for
food
 export was lowest
under
Change preposition
at under
show examples
 10000
million
dollars
. The manufactured
goods
 at about 15000
million
dollars
. In 2002, the
value
 of
fuel
 exported dropped to 30000
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
dollars
while
 the
value
 of manufactured
goods
 increased to 25000
million
dollars
. And manufactured
goods
 were reaching the highest export amount in years. By 2005,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufactured
goods
 were
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 good in all exports. Over
this
 period of five years, the figures for
fuel
 and
manufactured
Replace the word
manufacturing
show examples
 fluctuated,
whereas
 the figures for
food
 export remained almost stable at under 10000
million
dollars
.
Submitted by linhhaiyen1182 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words value, food, fuel, goods, million, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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