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Band 5

There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#phones #forms
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It is argued that the prevalence of
smartphone
Suggestion
the smartphone
 has a negative impact on various spheres of society. Personally, I believe that mobile phones bring us more merits than drawbacks.
This
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 essay will elaborate on some fields directly affected by mobile phones before providing certain arguments to support my perspective
To begin
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 with, there exist several problems stemming from the use of
smartphones
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. Regarding to social issues, it is palpable that relying on
this
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 modern application has caused the isolation among society. Nowadays, willingness of spending hours gluing to
smartphones
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’ screen
has deterred
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is deterring
 people from face-to-face interactions or
engagement
Suggestion
engage
engaging
engaged
 in outdoor activities, leading an isolated lifestyle.
Furthermore
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, children who are not mature enough to realize the potential risks behind
contents
Suggestion
the contents
 in social networking sites are highly likely to imitate
this
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 bad behaviour and grow more aggressive. As a consequence, they are easily lured into social illnesses, posing a serious threat to others’ lives. In terms of medial fields, reality has shown that overusing
smartphones
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is
Suggestion
are
 the major culprit of eye-related diseases owing to radiation from
smartphones
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. More adversely,
brain nervous
Accept comma addition
brain, nervous
 system is
also
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 negatively affected by exposing to
smartphones
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.
Last
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 but not least,
this
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 device is
also
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 responsible for technical problems.
For example
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, electromagnetic waves from
smartphones
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 might result in interference with aircraft or medical equipment, leading to unexpected situations as a matter of urgent public concern now.
However
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, regardless of the above mentioned facts, I believe that with
the stricter
Suggestion
the strict
 safety regulations and higher people’s self-awareness, those problems might be addressed effectively. Undeniably, a plenty of advantages of
smartphones
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 will outweigh its drawbacks.
First
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,
smartphones
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brings
Suggestion
bring
 us favourable condition to communicate with others more rapidly than ever. Currently, people can keep in contact with their relatives who live far from them, eventually, the ease of connection helps strengthen their relationship.
Second
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, the appearance of those entertaining apps and other helpful tools in
smartphones
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 enable people to relax and process their tasks efficiently. It makes people’s
live
Suggestion
lives
 more convenient and comfortable and is regarded as an indispensable instrument of our lives. In conclusion,
although
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smartphones
Use synonyms
 seem to be threatening the fields of social, medical and technical, it seems to me that all of those
problems can be still
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problems can still be
 mitigated. Yet, I believe that
smartphones
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has revolutionized
Suggestion
have revolutionized
 our lives owing to its huge benefits bringing.
Submitted by n.t.k.h.2809 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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