Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Start earning in the age between 13 to 19
,
Accept space
,
in their free
time
children it would be
great opportunity
Suggestion
a great opportunity
to gain general knowledge, thought by some people.
However
, some believe that they do not need to be restless by working just after the school. In
this
essay will be discuss both sides. In my
opinion there
Accept comma addition
opinion, there
are more benefits of working along with studies. To gain massive experience,
work
Suggestion
the work
is
most common thing
Suggestion
the most common thing
.
working
Suggestion
Working
for at least 20 hours a week is perfect for a student, in
this
they communicate with a lot of people
this
may help them to gain communication skills. For
instantiate
Suggestion
instance
, my friend who
is working
Suggestion
has been working
in
Suggestion
at
taco bell as a cashier for a long
time at
Accept comma addition
time, at
least 1 year he has become more fluent.
For example
, he can talk to any stranger without feeling hesitate.
Further more
in addition
Furthermore
, when a student
earn
Suggestion
earns
a money he become more responsible and
focuse
the concentration of attention or energy on something
focus
focused
about their future and he introduced to the real struggle which their parent did for him. Generally, by working they learn how to manage
time
and money.
For example
, a person
earn
Suggestion
earns
500
dollar
Suggestion
dollars
in one month so he calculate all and make a plan for their whole month, where spending money is worth.
On the other hand
, In
this
age
mind
rest is
must
slightly wet
moist
as well as physically. How to rest
mind
? Well sleep is the best way to relief human's
mind
and by doing physical activities we can relax our
mind
.
For example
, students have a lot of stress of their school
work
even when they are at home, which is assignments.
Moreover
, they feel restless because of
this
which is not good for a growing teenager it would be brain causes. In conclusion, to adapt knowledge teenagers should go for
time
work
.
However
, there may be some drawbacks of it.
Anyhow every
Accept comma addition
Anyhow, every
coin
have
Suggestion
has
two sides so
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
think they can easily manage by their experience. It would be great idea study and
work
together but
Accept comma addition
together, but
in limit by not only focusing on
work
, they shall keep it in balance.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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