In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

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Suffice it to say, that the American Dream has significantly changed the perception of a lifestyle among many young people across the globe. Admittedly, not everyone wants or has an opportunity to move to the United States of America, but at the same time, having big aspirations, many individuals tend to move to bigger places, like metropolis, to fulfil their dreams. First of all, there is a plethora of reasons, why people want to leave the countryside area. As an example, it is widely regarded, that big cities provide more career and education opportunities, and,
consequently
, higher salaries; a variety of high-quality services, and a myriad of entertainment. Having said that, many adolescents feel suffocated in their native small towns by not being given the aforementioned benefits and are convinced, that their aspirations can be fulfilled only in metropolises.
However
, the massive outflow of people can have a detrimental effect not only on rural areas by decreasing their population, but the big cities as well, having an opposite effect and causing overpopulation in major towns and actually decreasing the amount of possibilities for many adolescents, by creating an extremely competitive and hostile environment.
Moreover
, countryside areas typically remain underdeveloped, creating a high disproportion between the rich and the poor regions.
Therefore
, the government should concentrate on a well-rounded development of every region and not consolidate everything in one place. In conclusion,
while
I fully understand the inclination to move to a bigger city, I firmly believe that it is crucial to preserve the population in the countryside, for if everyone abandons rural areas, not only will we face the problem of overpopulation in major cities, but
also
a major setback in the
overall
development of the country's regions.
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea, expanding it logically without wandering or including unrelated points.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen arguments, particularly in describing the impact on city life and rural areas.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, discussing the benefits and drawbacks of migration to cities.
coherence and cohesion
There is a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and reinforcing the main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, contributing to an overall logical flow in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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