some people say that what children watch influences their behavior. Others believe that amount of time they spend on television influences their behavior most

#people #children #influences #behavior #amount #time #television

While it is true that watchings

affects children, it is hard to determine it is whether the length of watching time or the content of programs has more effects on youngsters.

Although

I believe that the time spent watching

has negative impacts on young people, I think the content of programs has more marked influences on them. On one hand, the consequences of watching

for a long period of time are deleterious.

First

, The more children are exposed to

programs, the more likely it is for them to become addicted to them. They might become more

overeliant

extremely poisonous or injurious; producing venom

virulent

for entertainment, which results in a sedentary lifestyle.

Thefore

Suggestion

Therefore

, they are likely to have health risks,

such

as heart attack and

diobety

a polygenic disease characterized by abnormally high glucose levels in the blood; any of several metabolic disorders marked by excessive urination and persistent thirst

diabetes

Submitted by nphai88 on Mon May 18 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

125 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

influence
behavior
television
content
violent
inappropriate
aggressive
attitudes
imitate
actions
language
amount
time
screen time
sedentary
obesity
academic performance
exposure
social interactions
creativity
monitor
control
caregivers
parents
limit
engage
activities
opinion

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
With the advancement of the film industry in the US, there are more or less impacts that other countries around the world have to bear, whether they are positive or negative. Some might argue that the local government should pay much attention to this issue by providing funds to develop the sector, and I particularly agree with this notion and will discuss my reasons in this essay.
5
band
Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often said that the Internet's creation in the nineteenth made easier the way in which people could learn, work and study. The use of computers and mobile phones was seen at first as a democratization of knowledge, culture, and books. However, I think that this primary ideology was totally wrong following the side effects and trajectory and use of these devices. Indeed. I do think that computers and mobile phones for communication have a negative effect on people's reading and writing skills, especially for young people.
7
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, many young people are under the pressure of academic study to succeed. Some people argue that non-academic subjects such as P.E. or cookery are not necessary and should be abolished from the school syllabus to allow children to concentrate on their studies. However, I disagree with this opinion. In this essay, I will explain for the benefits of learning non-academics and give my opinion.
5.5
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Stay in abroad and speaking a language except mother tongue could be a great challenge for public and practical events. I completely agree with this statement and I am going to elaborate my take on it in forthcoming paragraphs.
9
band
At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
A huge part of some countries' population is youngsters in comparison to elders number nowadays. I personally believe that this issue can have many advantages and disadvantages, in other words, this is two sides of a penny but in my personal perspective, the disadvantages of this issue outweigh the advantages due to the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

some people say that what children watch influences their behavior. Others believe that amount of time they spend on television influences their behavior most

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?