Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

It is true that most of the celebrities are known for their luxurious lifestyles than for their performance or talents these days and they can have a negative influence on youth. To a certain extent, I would agree that

this

kind of behaviour would be a bad example not only for

young generation

Suggestion

the young generation

, but

also

it can be

affect

Suggestion

affected

for the society. As we know, some of famous people can be extremely inspirational for teenagers because of their hard work. On the one hand, it is a fact that plenty of popular people become famous due to their fancy lifestyle,

instead

of their talent. Their acting talent might be

standart

a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated

standard

on below the

average but

Accept comma addition

average, but

they are making sensation to the public by showing

their

objective case of they

them

glamours lifestyles. It is believed that the behaviour would be a negative influence for the youth as it teaches them about hedonistic lifestyle.

Nonetheless

, there are some celebrities who can be a positive model for young adults. These people

have had shown

Suggestion

have shown

are showing

were showing

are shown

were shown

to the universe that they have reached achievements due to strong determination and hard work. Famous of the examples would be the

legandary

so celebrated as to having taken on the nature of a legend

legendary

footballers Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. They are the highest paid football players in the world because of their talent, determination and perseverance. In fact, they

constantly training

Suggestion

are constantly training

constantly train

and working in order to create own careers. When Messi was a child, the was poor. After his attempts, he became world's best footballers.

Therefore

, both of them extremely inspirational for teenagers as they show that it is essential to fight for their dreams by being a persist human. To sum up, young individuals can be negatively influenced by celebrities who only known for their wealth and luxurious style.

However in

Accept comma addition

However, in

my point of view, there are

also

some celebrities who can teach us valuable life lessons by accomplishment.

Submitted by jasminarasulova09 on Tue May 19 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the time their children spend watching TV and playing games and encourage them to spend this time reading books. Do you agree or disagree?

How does Sherriff convey his opinion on war in Journey’s End?

Some people prefer one on one lesson while others like group lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people government spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuse both view and give your opinion.