Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that most of the celebrities are known for their luxurious lifestyles than for their performance or talents these days and they can have a negative influence on youth. To a certain extent, I would agree that

this

Linking Words

kind of behaviour would be a bad example not only for

young generation

Suggestion

the young generation

, but

also

Linking Words

it can be

affect

Suggestion

affected

for the society. As we know, some of famous people can be extremely inspirational for teenagers because of their hard work. On the one hand, it is a fact that plenty of popular people become famous due to their fancy lifestyle,

instead

Linking Words

of their talent. Their acting talent might be

standart

a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated

standard

on below the

average but

Accept comma addition

average, but

they are making sensation to the public by showing

their

objective case of they

them

glamours lifestyles. It is believed that the behaviour would be a negative influence for the youth as it teaches them about hedonistic lifestyle.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, there are some celebrities who can be a positive model for young adults. These people

have had shown

Suggestion

have shown

are showing

were showing

are shown

were shown

to the universe that they have reached achievements due to strong determination and hard work. Famous of the examples would be the

legandary

so celebrated as to having taken on the nature of a legend

legendary

footballers Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. They are the highest paid football players in the world because of their talent, determination and perseverance. In fact, they

constantly training

Suggestion

are constantly training

constantly train

and working in order to create own careers. When Messi was a child, the was poor. After his attempts, he became world's best footballers.

Therefore

Linking Words

, both of them extremely inspirational for teenagers as they show that it is essential to fight for their dreams by being a persist human. To sum up, young individuals can be negatively influenced by celebrities who only known for their wealth and luxurious style.

Linking Words

However in

Accept comma addition

However, in

my point of view, there are

also

Linking Words

some celebrities who can teach us valuable life lessons by accomplishment.

Submitted by jasminarasulova09 on Tue May 19 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

307 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional food and traditional ways of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There are beliefs, that processed foods will grow in popularity so that it will substitute both traditional cuisine and its cooking process. This trend is easily agreeable with, because the convenience food is cheaper and half-cooked, as it saves up a lot of money and time for the end consumers respectively.
4
band
Some parents say that they should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
Child-rearing style has always been a part of major debate in this con-current age.Some people have a notion that, taking a place in group activities is very important for child development. At the sametime, another group asserts that kids should learn how to make them busy by theirselves. This essay will introduce both arguments and reach a conclusion.
5
band
Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also people nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Smoking is a hazardous activity that is capable of harming not only the smokers, but also individuals near by them. For that reason, many people argue that smoking in public spaces should be illegal. This essay will examine my opinion on this issue.
<4
band
Writing Task 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Describe the table below showing the percentage of the population aged 65 and over in three countries for 100 years. Write at least 150 words. Table: Percentage of Population Aged 65 and Over in Three Countries (1900-2000) YearAustraliaBelgiumCosta Rica 1900583 19507104 2000151812
From the table above, we can see that for last 100 years from 1900 until 2000, Belgium have the highest population for people aged 65 and over in the three countries (Australia, Belgium, and Costa Rica). Belgium have the biggest portion for that population with an average up to 50% from total in the three countries each year. Contrast from Belgium, Costa Rica have the lowest population for that aged each year of observation. This data need more research to check what is behind the situation. We must compare based on total population from each country and check the composition for the population aged below 65. After we get all the data, we can analyze and compare them to make sure fair condition on observation. The conclusion, can lead us to other assumptions to check, like birth rate, death rate, etc. Maybe that Belgium have highest birth rate or maybe Costa Rica have highest death rate, and many others assumption and conclusion we can get.
6.5
band
These days, many countries show interest in space exploration. What are the advantages and disadvantages of space exploration?
Today, many countries are interested in space flight and their secret industries are of great interest to everyone. Unfortunately, if we all do this experiment, we can face many dangers.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional food and traditional ways of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some parents say that they should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also people nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

These days, many countries show interest in space exploration. What are the advantages and disadvantages of space exploration?