IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

#humans #environment #governments #address #people
In contemporary society, the detrimental impact of human activities on the environment has become a pressing concern worldwide.
This
 essay will explore some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment and propose solutions to address these issues. One significant way in which humans are damaging the environment is through
deforestation
.
This
 practice driven by agricultural expansion, urbanization, and logging results in the destruction of vital habitats and contributes to climate change by reducing the number of trees that absorb carbon dioxide.
Moreover
,
deforestation
 leads to soil erosion, loss of biodiversity, and disruption of ecosystems, posing a threat to both wildlife and well-being.
Pollution
 is another severe problem caused by human activities
such
 as industrial emissions and improper waste disposal. Governments can play a pivotal role in addressing
deforestation
 by implementing and enforcing stricter regulations on industries. They can invest in reforestation initiatives to restore degraded landscapes.
Additionally
, public awareness campaigns and education programs can highlight the importance of forest conservation and encourage communities to actively participate in tree planting and forest restoration efforts. Individuals have a crucial role in addressing environmental issues, especially preventing
pollution
 through various actions.
Firstly
, by reducing their reliance on single-use plastics and opting for reusable alternatives, individuals can minimize plastic
pollution
 in oceans and waterways.
Furthermore
, disposing of hazardous materials responsibly helps prevent contamination of soil and water sources.
Moreover
, choosing energy-efficient appliances and reducing water consumption
also
 contribute to reducing
pollution
 emissions. In conclusion, tackling environmental issues like
deforestation
 and
pollution
 requires efforts from governments and individuals. By implementing regulations, promoting sustainable practices, and raising awareness, we can work towards a healthier planet for future generations.
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Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and consistently develop this throughout with examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a comprehensive overview of human impacts on the environment and suggesting actionable steps for both governments and individuals.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, offering clear bookends to frame your argument, which aids reader understanding and retention of your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollution: contamination, emissions, pollutants, industrial waste
  • Deforestation: habitat loss, biodiversity, urban development, logging
  • Climate Change: greenhouse gases, global warming, fossil fuels, renewable energy
  • Overfishing: unsustainable, fish stocks, marine ecosystems, conservation
  • Waste Production: non-biodegradable, plastics, recycling, waste management systems
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