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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of crime while others think that the government should spend more on punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #money #crime #government #punishment
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People have different views on a ministry spending. Some people believe that more funds should be invested in the causes of crimes while others believe in spending on the punishment. In my opinion, the ministry should equally spend on the reasons of crimes and to punish the offenders. One evident reason of committing an evil is poverty. An individual who cannot afford the basic necessity in life is forced into stealing. The ministry should infuse funds in the economy for the poorer sections of the society. To elaborate, the leaders can construct houses and may provide food to the poor people. Another reason is the unemployment. The government may build the manufacturing unit where unemployed people are hired,
as a result
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, they will become self sufficient and may not choose the path of crime.
On the other hand
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, serious offenders should be punished.
In other words
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, the criminals committing crimes like rape, murders should be prisoned. The government may invest in establishing the Judiciary system to ensure that the convicts may not escape from punishment.
Secondly
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, buildings of the prison, to accommodate the criminals. The leader of a country may ensure to have sufficient prisons for the repetitive criminals, which can be constructed on the outskirt of a city with the maximum security.
Consequently
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, people would be aware of the repercussion from committing a crime.
For instance
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, a research conducted by the Stanford University concluded that, in the UK, the criminal activities were decreased by 40% after construction of prisons. In conclusion, while it is important to mitigate the causes of crimes,
however
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 a crime with an intention to cause harm should be punished and
hence
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, government should equally fund on punishment.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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