IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Healthcare should be provided for free regardless of someone’s income. Do you agree?

#healthcare #someone’s #income
People nowadays have to pay for so many kinds of fees;
therefore
, some may think that all
health
 care services should be provided for free, but I disagree with that idea.
First
, have to admit that people will not come to
health
 facilities or hospitals to check out their
health
 if the price’s too high.
Second
, if the government pays hospital bills for citizens, it will bring a reputation for the national.
However
, have to look at the fact that not every country is rich enough to pay all the
health
fee
 for citizens. Still, they should free medical examination fees, lower the treatment
fee
 for life-threatening diseases, and free all
health
 fees for martyr soldiers’ families, wounded soldiers, and poor households.
Last
 but not least, I think the government should reduce the periodic check-up
fee
 and mobilize people to go for
health
 checks because jobs in metros are so demanding that people are unable to pay attention to their mental and physical fitness. But if the government
mobilize
Suggestion
mobilizes
 them and lower the
fee
, maybe people will check-up their
health
 regularly and detect disease early. That could lead to a reduction in the number of cancers, severe flu - COVID 19
for example
, HIV infections. If that happens, it could save money and effort for individuals and countries, fewer the number of people die
for
Suggestion
from
of
 diseases. If
this
 idea were in my country, I would disagree with that.
Submitted by moctratue on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: