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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizen later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizen #school #students #danger #crime
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Many criminals nowadays become
good citizen
Suggestion
good citizens
a good citizen
 after being released from prison. Many educators think they are the people most suitable to talk to children about the dangers of committing crimes. Personally, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. It is a fact that the way children are educated about the consequences of crime committing is boring. The usual approach which is having teachers citing laws is very theoretical. Having police officers sharing their crime fighting experience only show one side of the story. Which is why having ex-convicts sharing their own stories and how they turned to be good citizens would definitely be an eye-opening experience for children.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 approach compliments well with the trial- and –error teaching method which is an efficient learning approach for most children. Specially, the student is
enable
Suggestion
enabled
 to see someone who did a wrong
thing but
Accept comma addition
thing, but
then
Linking Words
 realized their
wrong-doings
departure from what is ethically acceptable
wrongdoings
wrongdoing
 and strive to become better. It is understandable why there are concerns about having ex-cons being close
with
Suggestion
to
 the children.
However
Linking Words
, these concerns should not be concerned at all.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the rehabilitation of prisoners is an extremely difficult but efficient process.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the ex-cons are very vastly likely to become law abiding citizens. They will not harm the children before, during or after talking to them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the meeting will always be supervised strictly by teachers and security guards. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 many would think having ex-criminals sharing experiences
to
Suggestion
of
with
 children can be harmful, I think that
this
Linking Words
 is a creative way to educate children on the dangers of breaking the law.
Submitted by kuldippcivil on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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