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Band 6

Some people think that the only purpose of working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

#people #purpose #money
A lot of people in the world think that they will make
money
 if they only
work
 hard.
This
 point of view in the modern world has a place to be. Obviously, that would have the fruit, must climb the tree. To achieve a goal in
life
 you need to
work
 hard on yourself and constantly improve yourself. So, to earn a lot of
money
 for a good
life
 yourself or for your family you need to
work
 hard, spend your time and energy.
However
, If the
work
 does not inspire you, you will not be able to
work
 hard for a long time.If you don’t like your
work
,
then
 you won’t be able to
work
 productively. For many workers,
money
 is secondary, because they enjoy the
processing
Suggestion
process
. There are many other goals to
work
 hard.
For instance
:
work
 whole days to invent a vaccine against
coronavirus
 to save a million lives or
work
 seven days a week to complete their book so that readers enjoy the result and
this
 would make them happier. There are a million other goals in hard
work
, but not for making
money
.
Furthermore
,
person
Suggestion
a person
the person
 must have a purpose in
life
 in order to achieve it.
Money
 is a means to an end. You should not make
money
 the meaning of your
life
. In conclusion, I think that person must not only purpose of working hard is to earn
money
, because one spend
life
to
Suggestion
for
 nothing. At the end of his
life
,
such
 a person will regret that he did not enjoy his
life
 and that he did nothing significant in his
life
.
Submitted by lyubaberezhnaya on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrinsic rewards
  • personal fulfillment
  • sense of purpose
  • contributing to society
  • practical aspect
  • personal growth
  • skills development
  • workaholism
  • work-life balance
  • innovation
  • financial gain
  • significantly
  • self-improvement
  • motivator
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