All over the world societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem effects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity. How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #effects #children #adults #reason #rise

In these days, In many countries, the number of people who became overweight has increased and their health condition and fitness level are declining both children and adults. Worldwide publics are

encounter

Suggestion

encountering

escolating

increase in extent or intensity

escalating

issue about

adiposity

, adults

also

face children.

This

essay will look at the reason for

this

and

porpose

make a proposal, declare a plan for something

propose

some solutions. One of the main causes of the problem is that obesity leads to serious disease and both adults and children can get

these illness

Suggestion

these illnesses

this illness

For instance

, many countries currently suffer from

this

problem because,

obeseness

a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it

business

leads to diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and heart attacks. The solution is

for

Suggestion

this

problem, people who are faced with

this

sickness should eat right, exercise regularly and make the regimen of the day and sleep. Another people is that many overweight people are shy of their appearance and they have serious psychological problems.

For example

, children in their teens are very embarrassed by their appearance; they, like other children, cannot feel at ease and play with everyone, because they quickly get tired due to being

preponderance

Suggestion

preponderantly

, sometimes even mimic them. To tackle

this

issue you need together with a psychologist and playing sports, parents

also

need to support them and increase their self-esteem To conclude,

although

many countries are now a

days

Suggestion

day

falling prey to unhealthy

diet but

Accept comma addition

diet, but

we can fight and defeat

this

menace with strong will power and taking some preventive actions as described above. I think everyone should eat right and exercise because it’s good for everyone

Submitted by matkarim.quldoshev on Fri May 22 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All over the world societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem effects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity. How could it be tackled?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today more and more people want things instanly. Why is this ? Is it positive or negative development ?

Every year several Ianuages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Many countries are struggling with increases in crime rates and some think that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?