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Writing Samples
Band 5

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work
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Some people believe that decent income should be paid for most of the artists by the
government
Use synonyms
 because they earn low salary which is not enough to make a living. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view because artists have
freedom
Suggestion
the freedom
 to choose their source of income and I think financial problems in society are more significant to be supported.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is an obvious issue that enormous popular actresses, painters, dancers and other branches of artwork have
high range
Suggestion
a high range
 of salaries from their own businesses. Actually, everyone with special talent or creative idea has
opportunity
Suggestion
the opportunity
an opportunity
 to be famous and prosperous person. If someone is still continuing artwork as primary income without ability in that field, there is no responsibility for
government
Use synonyms
 to subsidize
this
Linking Words
 person because of his/her clumsiness.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can find alternative financial resources to make money
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting their time.
In addition
Linking Words
, as we can see,
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of people are motivated to take part in diverse fields of art regardless of their talent or capability. In fact, many videos and pictures are shared
in
Suggestion
between
 different applications of social
media which
Accept comma addition
media, which
 would be seen by people.
As a result
Linking Words
, they might be popular and affluent as an artist if they be qualified enough.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
government
Use synonyms
 funding should be paid for various social services which are necessary to care. There are many deprived territories that there is no any health care organizations or educational institutes which are required for all communities.
Hence
Linking Words
, these areas need to be supported financially. In conclusion, from my perspective, there are many economic concerns that need to be supported by
government
Use synonyms
 funding
instead
Linking Words
 of raising salaries of artists because special talents in the art industry can make luxury living for everyone.
Submitted by aidaasarabi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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