Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is often thought that
music
plays a vital role in our lives since it is an excellent method to bring people
together despite their differences in age and culture. This
essay will address this
viewpoint, and I wholeheartedly concur because melody speaks directly to the feelings and senses of all humanity.
At the outset, in our era, music
is thought to have a profound impact on every individual, regardless of their ages and customs. As a result
, people
of all backgrounds, despite their cultural diversity, find it to be a significant point of connection. In addition
, there are other well-known factors why people
enjoy listening to it. For instance
, it relieves stress that most population suffer from, particularly these days. It also
makes people
feel at ease and relaxed, making it one of the most crucial instruments used by humans to find entertainment.
Additionally
, some global psychiatric specialists may recommend it to their patients as a suitable course of treatment, particularly for those who suffer from specific psychological disorders like anxiety and fear. As a consequence
, employing it as therapy has contributed to the cure of numerous individuals suffering from mental diseases. Furthermore
, even though different types of music
are available like Indian, Persian, Arabic, and American music
, we were astonished to discover that some Americans enjoy listening to Persian, Arab, or Indian singing and vice versa.
In conclusion, music
unites all of the people
in our world, despite their natural diversity, including people
of numerous ethnicities, cultures, religions, and customs. For
this
reason, I strongly believe that music
is a universal language shared by all people
, anywhere all around the world. Hence
, governments should establish international institutes to develop it, and encourage young people
to acquire it.Submitted by mh.emrani on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay progresses coherently, with each paragraph flowing seamlessly into the next. Transition words should guide the reader through your line of reasoning.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a stronger logical structure. While the introduction and conclusion are well-formulated, the body paragraphs should be more distinctly organized with clear topic sentences that directly support the thesis.
Task Achievement
While the main points are supported, additional specific examples and pieces of evidence would enhance your argument. Universal statements and general examples can weaken the impact of your argument. Aim to provide illustrative and culturally varied examples that reflect the global impact of music on bringing people together.
