Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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It is often thought that

music

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plays a vital role in our lives since it is an excellent method to bring

people

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together despite their differences in age and culture.

This

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essay will address

this

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viewpoint, and I wholeheartedly concur because melody speaks directly to the feelings and senses of all humanity. At the outset, in our era,

music

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is thought to have a profound impact on every individual, regardless of their ages and customs.

As a result

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people

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of all backgrounds, despite their cultural diversity, find it to be a significant point of connection.

In addition

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, there are other well-known factors why

people

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enjoy listening to it.

For instance

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, it relieves stress that most population suffer from, particularly these days. It

also

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makes

people

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feel at ease and relaxed, making it one of the most crucial instruments used by humans to find entertainment.

Additionally

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, some global psychiatric specialists may recommend it to their patients as a suitable course of treatment, particularly for those who suffer from specific psychological disorders like anxiety and fear.

As a consequence

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, employing it as therapy has contributed to the cure of numerous individuals suffering from mental diseases.

Furthermore

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, even though different types of

music

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are available like Indian, Persian, Arabic, and American

music

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, we were astonished to discover that some Americans enjoy listening to Persian, Arab, or Indian singing and vice versa. In conclusion,

music

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unites all of the

people

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in our world, despite their natural diversity, including

people

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of numerous ethnicities, cultures, religions, and customs.

For

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this

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reason, I strongly believe that

music

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is a universal language shared by all

people

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, anywhere all around the world.

Hence

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, governments should establish international institutes to develop it, and encourage young

people

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to acquire it.

Submitted by mh.emrani on Fri Dec 08 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your essay progresses coherently, with each paragraph flowing seamlessly into the next. Transition words should guide the reader through your line of reasoning.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay would benefit from a stronger logical structure. While the introduction and conclusion are well-formulated, the body paragraphs should be more distinctly organized with clear topic sentences that directly support the thesis.

Task Achievement

While the main points are supported, additional specific examples and pieces of evidence would enhance your argument. Universal statements and general examples can weaken the impact of your argument. Aim to provide illustrative and culturally varied examples that reflect the global impact of music on bringing people together.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world's cities today.Disccus the main causes.What solutions could be used to tackle this situation.

Some companies have uniforms for their staffs which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?