Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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In the contemporary era, many people argued that celebrities lead modern generation by their unique charm and sufficient money rather than their success. In my opinion, I firmly believe money forever takes attention new-generation,

although

Linking Words

we couldn't neglect their terrific work and lifelong dedication towards the excellent job. On the one hand, some wealthy celebrities usually show off their glamorous lifestyle and post pictures on social media. They spend their time and money doing unusual stuff. Their acting skill might be average or below the average, but they get

sensation

Suggestion

a sensation

the sensation

by their

luxury

Suggestion

luxurious

style of living. One of the most significant examples is Mirza, who is an actor and dancer, but he holds below average talent in dance and acting. Even

then

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, he is a well-known personality due to his glamorous look and richness. He quite often comes up with his picture with drink, smoke and girls.

As a result

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, I extremely admit it certainly makes a negative impression on

new-comers

any new participant in some activity

newcomers

On the other hand

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, few names recognized for their hard work, persistence and commitment because of that they get achievements. They work very hard to become a successful person on their young age. They are a genuine fighter for their dreams and don't take a seat until they succeed.

For instance

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, Mahendra Singh Dhoni is a famous Indian Skipper, Who works very tough to fulfil his dream. And as a consequence, India won all formats world cup.

That is

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the reason that He seems to be a real-life motive individual for the juvenile. To sum up, young souls effectively inspire to celebrity by their style and wealth

instead

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of brilliant achievements. To a certain point, childish people can prefer a role model of his intelligence and reliability.

Submitted by kaushik2940 on Sat May 23 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many parts of the world, some famous people are regarded as ‘role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?