IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As it is known, there are numerous amount of
subjects
 we could take in university.
Although
 some argue that undergraduates should take
subjects
 that are seen to be beneficial for the
future
 like technology and science, I believe that students should take
majors
 they like and actually enjoy for which the reasons are stated below. When choosing our university
majors
, we should always keep in mind that the
majors
 we take are likely to be a part of our jobs in the
future
.
Thus
, choosing
majors
 we are fond of can help the struggles of working later on as it is something we actually enjoy.
Besides
 that, taking on
subjects
 that are actually our speciality could be beneficial in terms of doing the job and can give out the best results and higher capabilities.
On the other hand
, it is believed that taking
subjects
 like science and technology can ensure students a better
future
 in terms of payment and the improvement of one's country.
Thus
, it could help people receive high knowledge of what we encounter every day, like technology.
Lastly
, some might argue that science could help people more and could indulge a more advanced work in the
future
.
To conclude
, there are many reasons in which one chooses a major.
However
, I believe that with the right target and choosing
subjects
 that can create a delightful atmosphere for us can be enjoyable and receive a good amount of payments when customers are mesmerised by the results we give.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using explicit linking phrases to connect ideas more clearly. This will provide a more fluid reading experience and help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
To improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas, develop each point in more detail. Supporting arguments with specific examples, data, or scenarios can make your argument more persuasive and relatable.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the debate and presents a clear opinion, which effectively frames the discussion for the reader.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion successfully encapsulates the writer's viewpoint and provides a thoughtful closing to the essay, which is aligned with the introduction.
complete response
The essay presents balanced views on both sides of the topic, addressing the main points expected from such a discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: