Those who practice traditional medicine claim that it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?
Some traditional
medicines
, such
as acupuncture and herbal remedies
can indeed improve health. However
, this
essay disagrees that these conventional remedies
outweigh current medicines
because of lacking short-term treatment and specific inspection.
One primary reason is that traditional remedies
cannot have instantaneous improvement. For instance
, some periods of herbal treatment need a long-term, approximately between two and four weeks. Conversely
, modern medicines
like antibiotics only need 3 days, with this
advantage, the number of current medicines
are
increased considerably.
Another significant reason is that some diseases cannot be detected by traditional Change the verb form
is
treatments
. A typical example such
as cancer
, It is true that traditional doctors cannot diagnose cancer
or utilize acupuncture and herbs to treat it. Although
these measures indeed alleviate the pain of patients, they cannot help patients recover and prevent deterioration. However
, modern medical technology such
as radiative treatments
can effectively address cancer
, thereby destroying it. As a result
, it is visible that modern medicines
outweigh conventional remedies
.
While
radiative treatments
still have some drawbacks such
as cell damage, it has significantly improved or even overcome cancer
-related diseases. On the other hand
, many medical companies have sold various medicines
to prevent creases or help humans maintain a healthy body. With cutting-edge medical technology, the distance between traditional and current medicines
will gradually be enlarged.
To sum up
, while
conventional treatments
have positive effects on health, they lack certain vital factors such
as a short-term period of remedy. At the same time, diseases like cancer
cannot be addressed by acupuncture and herbal remedies
. In contrast
, modern medicines
have an effective cancer
treatment and can improve health simultaneously. As a result
, this
essay disagrees that traditional medicine outweighs current remedies
.Submitted by daniellin0717 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are supported with detailed and relevant examples. Providing more specific evidence or case studies can enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs with clear transition phrases to enhance coherence. This will help the reader follow the argument more easily.
general
Work on ensuring varied sentence structures and employing a wider range of vocabulary to improve overall readability and engagement.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and effectively argues the point with multiple reasons.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and present a clear overview of the essay’s argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically arranged and each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!