Many children these days have their own mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion?

#children #phones

There is no

double

Correct your spelling

doubt

show examples

that cell phones are becoming prevalent among teenagers. I believe

this

is a positive development as it gives safety and security to

parents

. The imperative benefit of

this

practice is to obtain educational support and access to unauthorised sites is its drawback. Getting educational assistance is the fundamental advantage of allowing

children

to use cell phones. To elucidate, students often get

project

Fix the agreement mistake

projects

show examples

from schools and universities for homework and providing them access to a smartphone can assist them in finding solutions to their problems.

Hence

, they search for different sites on Google,

such

as Wikipedia or Quora.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

recent

studies

Fix the agreement mistake

study

show examples

Economic

Correct article usage

the Economic

show examples

Times reported that 75% of school or university

students’

Change noun form

students

show examples

tend to use a smartphone for their queries on different topics.

This

has resulted in not only being able to finish assignments on time

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

increase

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

their knowledge.

However

, the disadvantage of

this

trend is that

children

get access to illegal sites easily if not supervised by their

parents’

Correct your spelling

parents

show examples

. It is irrefutable, some websites are filled with porn videos and many

children

seem to watch these videos or play gamble without knowing their

parents

As a result

, they generally go off track and

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

able to concentrate on

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

Overall

this

is a positive development because it enables

parents’

Change noun form

parents

show examples

to feel secure and

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

For example

, having finished their school,

children

go to the library or friends home and they forget to inform their

parents

. If

children

have their mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

, their

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

can contact them and know where they are.

As a result

, they do feel relaxed and less worried after hearing their

kid

Change noun form

kid's

show examples

voice. In conclusion, even though

children

go off track and do not concentrate on

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

if not watch with their

parents

, obtaining educational guidance and enabling

parents

to relax and secure can be more beneficial, which I think is a positive development.

Submitted by jdsmss on Sun May 24 2020

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Structural coherent

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Support with clear examples

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Explain ideas in detail

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emergencies
enhance learning
educational apps
monitoring
digital skills
distraction
face-to-face interactions
social development
physical health problems
inappropriate content
prolonged use
eye strain
sleep disturbances

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Many children these days have their own mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is better for young adults to move away from their family home than to continue to live with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.