As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. In your opinion, what are the causes and what are the effects on both individuals and society as a whole.
In the modern era, since nuclear
families
are becoming more popular, Use synonyms
individuals
do not prefer to live with their elders. Living alone has Use synonyms
also
become a trend in the young generation. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will justify the causes and effects on both Linking Words
people
and the community in the upcoming paragraphs with my opinion.
The first and foremost reason behind living individually and in small family units is moving abroad or in cities for better opportunities. Use synonyms
For instance
, most Linking Words
individuals
are unable to find jobs in their areas owing to Use synonyms
this
, they have to shift to cities. In cities, since the cost of living is higher than in rural areas, Linking Words
individuals
have to live alone without their Use synonyms
families
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, some learners tend to move to foreign countries for their higher studies as the education system is better in foreign countries than in their own nation. Linking Words
Consequently
, Linking Words
individuals
not only move to other places for better studies but Use synonyms
also
it enables them to earn higher wages.
Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
this
trend of living alone or in nuclear Linking Words
families
has some negative impacts on Use synonyms
people
and society. First of all, children are unable to learn valuable lessons from their elders. In the past, joint Use synonyms
families
were more common Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
this
, grandparents were there for young ones to teach them good lessons for life Linking Words
whereas
, these days, parents are workaholics and living away from their elders which makes it difficult to spend some time with their children. Linking Words
In addition
, parents are unable to supervise their kid's activities so they spend their most of time on mobile phones where they can learn anything regardless of caring morals.Linking Words
As a result
, the crime rate is increasing in society.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
living independently in other areas makes Linking Words
people
gain higher education and earn higher salaries, Use synonyms
this
trend has a negative effect on children and society. In my opinion, if Linking Words
people
want to live in nuclear Use synonyms
families
Use synonyms
then
they should make better plans to manage everything.Linking Words
Submitted by simranjot0002 on
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Vocabulary & Sentence Structure
You have articulated your ideas well, integrating relevant examples to support your assertions. To further enhance your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating a broader range of vocabulary. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Counterarguments & Depth
You've managed to present a clear argument with a logical flow, which is excellent. Make sure to also include contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments where applicable, even if briefly. This can add depth to your essay and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Grammar & Accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement throughout your essay. While these are minor, polishing these aspects can contribute to a more professional and coherent presentation.
Structure
The essay follows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion that summarises the main points effectively.
Use of Examples
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Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reflects on the implications, showcasing your ability to synthesize information.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example