THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF MUSIC IN THE WORLD TODAY. WHY DO WE NEED MUSIC? IS THE TRADITIONAL MUSIC OF A COUNTRY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE INTERNATIONAL THAT IS HEARD EVERYWHERE NOWADAYS?

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MUSIC IS A SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT AND IT IS WORLDWIDELY ACCEPTABLE. PEOPLE LISTEN THEM ACCORDING TO THEIR TASTE. SOME PEOPLE LIKE JAZZ WHILE, OTHER POP AND CLASSIC. I THINK, WE NEED

THIS

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BECAUSE IT GIVES IMMENSE BENEFITS TO US. BUT, I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT, ONLY TRADITIONAL MELODY IS CRUCIAL THAN INTERNATIONAL ONE BECAUSE BOTH ARE VALUABLE IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

TO BEGIN

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WITH, THERE ARE VARIOUS TYPE OF TONES WHICH WERE LISTEN IN OUR DAILY LIFE ACCORDING TO OUR PREFERENCES. WE LOVE TO LISTEN IT BECAUSE IT PLAY AN IMPORTANT PART IN OUR LIVES.

IN OTHER WORDS

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, IT IS VERY HELPFUL TO RELEASE OUR TENSIONS AND RELAX OUR MIND. ANOTHER REASON OF

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IS THAT, IT ENTERTAINS PEOPLE IN MANY WAY.

FOR EXAMPLE

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, THEY PLAY IT FOR DANCING IN DISCOS AND PARTIES. PEOPLE

ALSO

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TAKE MUSIC TO SPEND THEIR FREE TIME.

ON THE OTHER HAND

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, BOTH TRADITIONAL AND WORLDWIDE MELODY ARE CONSIDERED IMPORTANTLY.

FIRST

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, HISTORICAL GENRE REPRESENT THE WHOLE COUNTRY. TO BE CLEAR, ANCIENT TONES SHOW THE MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS THAT USED TO MAKE IT.

MOREOVER

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, THEY

ALSO

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PROVIDE THE TASTE OF A PEOPLE OF THAT REGION AND DEMONSTRATE THEIR RITUALS. WHILE, INTERNATIONAL MUSIC IS

ALSO

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CRUCIAL BECAUSE IT ENGAGES PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AND REVEALS THEIR CULTURES.

FURTHERMORE

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, IT TRY TO NOT MAKE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN REGIONS. IN CONCLUSION, I BELIEVE THAT, WE NEED SOUL BECAUSE THERE ARE MANY REASONS BEHIND

THIS

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SUCH

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AS, RELAXING MIND, RELEAVING PAIN AND ENTERTAINING US.

HOWEVER

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, FOR ME, BOTH TRADITIONAL TONES OF A COUNTRY AND WORLDWIDELY GENERES ARE IMPORTANT BECAUSE THEY UNITE PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AND SHOW MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS USED TO MAKE IT.

Submitted by manpreet15011998 on Sun May 24 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF MUSIC IN THE WORLD TODAY. WHY DO WE NEED MUSIC? IS THE TRADITIONAL MUSIC OF A COUNTRY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE INTERNATIONAL THAT IS HEARD EVERYWHERE NOWADAYS?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Learning a language is in childhood is important? Discuss.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others; however, believed that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

For some people, learning in a group is the most effective method while others prefer one-on-one instruction. Discuss both ideas. What is your opinion?

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.