IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There have been major advances in technology over the recent decades and this has led to significant improvement in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#advances #technology #decades #improvement #people #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
AS REVOLUTION IN TECHNOLOGY BROUGHT A MAGNIFICENT CHANGE AMOUNG THE FOLLK'S LIVES THROUGH MANY MEANS.
THIS
Linking Words
 ESSAY WOULD 100% CONCUR WITH THE ABOVE NOTION DUE TO SEVERAL MAJOR REASONS THAT WILL BE DISCUSSED BELOW WITH RELEVENT EXAMPLE AND EXPLANATIONS. ON THE ONE SIDE, THE MAJOR BENEFIT OF THE ADVANCEMENT IN THE TECHNOLOGY IS THE DECLINED WORKFORCE WHICH REQUIRES THE MANUAL WORK. BUT, NOW MANUAL WORK HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH THE ROBOTIC WORK THAT HAVE DIMINISHED THE WORKS REQUIREMENT IN THE BUSINESS FIELD. FOR INSTNACE, ACCORDING TO THE UK MILWRIGHT COMPANIES, 70% OF THE WORK IS BEING DONE WITH THE HELP OF VARIOUS MACHINES THAT HAVE CUT ALMOST 60% OF THE MANUAL WORK.
ON THE OTHER HAND
Linking Words
, THERE HAVE BEEN MYRIAD OF DISADVATAGE OF
THIS
Linking Words
 INNOVATION.
SUCH
Linking Words
 AS, FOLKS ARE BECOMING OBESE THAT PERHAPS WILL HAVE LONG TERM EFFECT ON PEOPLE'S WELLBEING. AS OBESITY DAMAGE THE MAJOR ORGANS
SUCH
Linking Words
 AS KIDNEY, BLOOD PRESSURE AND COLESTEROL BY APPLING PRESSURE FROM BODY FAT THAT WILL NOT BURN BY JUST SITTING.
FOR EXAMPLE
Linking Words
, AS PER THE AUSTRALIAN STUDY, 90% OF THE FATTY INDIVIDUALS ARE ENDED UP WITH THE SEVERAL DISEASES
SUCH
Linking Words
 AS HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, BLOCKAGE OF THE NERVE AND SO ON. IN CONCLUSION, IT IS INDEED TRUE THAT MORE INNOVATION WILL BRING MORE COMFORTABLE LIFE FOR AN INDIVIDUAL
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, ONE SHOULD HAVE THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE IMPACT OF IT WHILE CHOOSING TO USE THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY DURING THE PRESENT TIME.
THIS
Linking Words
 WOULD REDUCED THE DETRIMENTAL NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THE BODY THAT CAN SAVES 100 OF LIVELIHOOD.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • instant communication
  • global connectivity
  • medical innovations
  • life expectancy
  • privacy concerns
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • convenience
  • minimally invasive surgery
What to do next:
Look at other essays: