IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they like the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter • say what the participants liked about the hotel • explain why they were unhappy about the food • suggest what the managers should do to improve the food in the future

#company #place #hotel #feedback #participants #food #lunch #manager #managers #future
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter concerning the recent business event my company took at your hotel.
Firstly
, the main aspects my employees enjoyed about the Swan Plaza were the conference room and the restroom facilities.
In particular
, what impressed them the most were the new premium equipment and the ergonomic furniture at their disposal.
On the other hand
, they were somewhat discontented with the meal served during lunch break.
This
 is because they thought there were not many varieties of dishes and the ones available were mostly too spicy for their taste. With regard to what adjustments could upgrade the food quality, the managers could request more types of salads and pasta for the chef's menu.
Moreover
, reducing the pepper in some recipes could
also
 make the ingredients taste better. I hope
this
 feedback can help you increase the quality of the Swan Plaza Hotel even more. Yours faithfully, Amanda Lago
Submitted by amandacflago23 on

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improvement
For future letters, consider incorporating a brief conclusion to summarize your requests or hopes following the feedback. This could enhance the closure of your communication.
improvement
Be mindful of repeating specific details or phrases unless they contribute significantly to your purpose. Variety in language helps maintain interest and clarity.
structure
Your letter structure is well-organized, effectively separating different topics into distinct paragraphs.
tone
The tone of your letter is professional and courteous, which is ideal for this context.
content
You clearly and respectfully expressed concerns while also acknowledging the positive aspects of the service provided.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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