There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

Music

controls the world nowadays; it has existed

from

Suggestion

for

centuries and people enjoy its variety of genres.

However

, often time people start listening to international

music

rather than listening to local and traditional

music

However

, I believe that traditional

music

overweights international

music

as it shows a big part of

culture

Suggestion

the culture

and the

country

identity. Without

music life

Accept comma addition

music, life

will be

Suggestion

would be

completely different.

Music

encourages us to think and to switch our moods and it helps us

relaxing

Suggestion

relax

to relax

or concentrating.

Music

is an art that cannot be done for everybody which make it special. Lately people tend to listen to talented international artists

Suggestion

the daily basis rather than listening to local artists.

For example

, in South America, teenagers prefer to listen to English songs and to follow American artists

such

as Justin

bieber

Suggestion

Bieber

contrast they

Accept comma addition

contrast, they

can learn English through the song

lyrics which

Accept comma addition

lyrics, which

convenience

Suggestion

convenient

for them.

However

, I believe that traditional

music

is more important than international

music

. The

culture

of a

country

can be express throughout local

music

, while most of the international

music

such

as American

music

is produced in a studio with machines, traditional

music

is produced with instruments that show the

country

backgrounds and history.

Moreover

, often times, international

music

has English lyrics and pretty similar rhythms whereas traditional

music

imply local language and a wide range of sounds. In my opinion, traditional

music

is a presentation of

culture

Suggestion

cultural

richness for each

country

. If we do not foster

this

music

minor

population

Accept comma addition

population, such

such

indigenes

originating where it is found

indigenous

indigence

might lost a big part of their

culture

. In conclusion,

Although

international

music

is easily widespread along people, traditional

music

should not be left behind,

otherwise

it will extinguish in the future and new generation will not have the opportunity of listening

such

an important genre.

Submitted by juansetirado on Mon May 25 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that educating people about the problems of eating too much fast food has no effect and that other measures should be taken to tackle this issue. What is your opinion?

Some people say the professional workers such as, doctors, nurses and teachers, who make greater contribution to the society, should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment.

Different types of environmental pollution seem to be affecting an increasing number of people in the world. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what solutions would you suggest?

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?