A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, • Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team. • Summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts. • Say how you think the company should spend the money.

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise

Hello

dear

Change the capitalization

Dear

show examples

, I am writing

this

letter to show you how it is important to invest money in

sports

, I strongly believe that

sports

can make

people

live better. I have a kid and pay for him to play soccer on the weekend because these days everybody stays all the time on the cell phone, internet, etc. It is not healthy

Correct your spelling

show examples

not

play

Fix the infinitive

to play

show examples

any

sports

, so I advise everybody needs to play unless one sport keeps your body healthy and in good shape. I hardly believe

companies

want to make the

people

live better and investment in sport provides health and exposition for the company. When I was a child, I used to play soccer on the street and I was so happy, but now it is very tough to

that

Add a missing verb

do that

show examples

with a lot of violence. To conclude, I am very positive the way

companies

have been changed how they spend the money, by the

way

Add the comma(s)

,way

show examples

I know many

companies

that invest a bunch with

sports

, donations and make the

people

live better. I really believe that

companies

need to care and help the community to have a better place to live. I am pretty happy that you think about help

sports

and make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

live better. Best Regards Jhones

Submitted by jhones.goncalves on Tue May 26 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

212 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sponsor
sportsmanship
fosters
cultivates
talents
accessible
cultural entertainment
boosts
tourism
temporary employment opportunities
patron of the arts
community engagement
long-term impact
economic benefits
alternating support
maximize community impact

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although family has a great influence on children's life, it is influences from ourside the hom that play a bigger part in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The Internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different. To what extent do you agree or disagree?