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Band 6.5

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicines. Government funding should reflect this.

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicines #government
Undeniably, massive actions regarding health issues and malady will be beneficial for institutions.
Nonetheless
, I don’t think putting
first
 prevention rather than treatment and medicine is a good idea. Both budgets should be equal.
First
 of all, a large number of people believe that, by running a lot of campaigns about diseases, It will be more efficient that spend money on treatment. Articles have been written about the fact that, many diseases are due to our lifestyle.
Therefore
, human-being are able to avoid getting sick.
For example
, Obesity, which is one of the biggest problems in United states induced every year thousands of death and hospitalizations. In her
first
 year of presidency, Michelle Obama tackled to
this
 phenomenon. The White House enforced a wider plan to defeat
this
 illness, through advertisement that learnt to children how to adopt a good conduct touching food. Throughout, her years in the oval office, she went to schools in different states to teach teenagers sport’s benefits. Scientists think, if we teach toddlers the good conduct, it will definitely bring later advantages for the economy and people will be in better shape.
However
, not all disease can be handled with a diet and some sport. With investment by government in medicine, we had found vaccine for some diseases that people died in the
last
 century.
Likewise
, by subsiding medicine, we had found a treatment which improves life for patients.
For instance
, even now we have not found a drug for AID but, people who have it can live a better and longer life Despite the fact that some disease could be averted with sport and by reducing junk food, not all diseases, it’s the reason why the government ought to fund as well, research.
Submitted by valentine.leclere21 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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