IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.

#impact #environment #people #jobs
It's undeniable that virtual purchase is going to be the main way of shopping and
this
 fact has side effects. The environment and the labour market are two principal scopes that certainly are affected. On the one hand, when people buy goods online, the environment faces some improvements. Purchase on the web reduces traffic and rush hour problems. Suppose you want to buy something, you must visit several shopping centres and stores to find desired goods and drive from one spot to another in the city, but if you do it online, you can reduce avoidable going around. When you just scroll up and down to find stuff, you minimize the usage of fossil fuels, help to keep air clean, and postpone climate changes.
Thus because
Accept comma addition
Thus, because
 of environmental consideration, virtual shopping is extremely suggested.
On the other hand
, online stores influence on the labour market. Online goods may be cheaper because sellers are not compelled to pay rent and electricity costs so people tend to shop online. Actual stores and shops lose their customers and may bust gradually. Middle mans and distributors lost their jobs. Small shops fade out and that's not good. But we should consider that many other jobs emerge.
For example
, programmers, web developers, and computer engineers could find many job positions. In conclusion, internet-based purchases have a variety of benefits concerning the environment and air pollution, but it's harmful to some businesses, but its effects on the labour market are unavoidable.
Submitted by samiraanabavi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: