Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

In
Suggestion
With
last couple
Suggestion
the last couple
of
decades celebrities
Accept comma addition
decades, celebrities
are being popular around the world. Civilians are significantly visiting to watch their
celebritie's concerts
Accept comma addition
celebrities, concerts
celebrities concerts
or events.
However
, there are various designations where people earn more
money
than an
entertainers
Suggestion
entertainer
. To start up with celebrities sides, To
being
Suggestion
be
fascinated it's only depends on followers. Entertainers
are perform
Suggestion
are performing
are performed
their hidden talents to impress public and get their attention
toward
Suggestion
to
his or her lifestyle.
For example
, A great cricket player was bonded with any oil company to advertise his engine oil products in
publicaly
Suggestion
public
publicly
, an international
reserach
systematic investigation to establish facts
research
proves that the
perticular
unique or specific to a person or thing or category
particular
product is
least productive
Suggestion
less productive
in
oil industry
Suggestion
the oil industry
,
Although
, people bought that product in required time. For that reason the celebrities are demanding more
money
to promote any product in
consumer market
Suggestion
the consumer market
consumer markets
. On the other side, there are several jobs who earn enormous amount of packages as an employee.
For instance
, To being a CEO of
multinational company
Suggestion
a multinational company
, he or she makes more
money
compare
Suggestion
compared
to any ordinary famous celebrities.
Additionally
, That
people
Suggestion
person
uses their skills and talents to
kept
Suggestion
keep
that position To sum up, It's not true that only celebrities can earn more in
work section
Suggestion
the work section
. Entertainers shows their aptitude to get more and more
money
Suggestion
Money
from
public area
Suggestion
the public area
a public area
public areas
, whereas, a high post job could be
earn
Suggestion
earning
huge salaries.
Submitted by shubhampatel19021 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: