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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will the used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more auspicious of their benefits?

#computers #businesses #hospitals #crime #detection #planes #future #dependence
In recent decades, the technology of electronics has rapidly been improved. So the majority of people have them and we tend to rely on them more and more extremely passing the time. Obviously there are the benefits and drawbacks of them. But to my mind, I think that the drawbacks overweight the benefits.
He
nce in
Accept comma addition
Hence, in
this
 essay, I will suggest the problems to be caused by dependence.
First
 of all, the computer provides convenience to us. Actually, we can get important information and buy st
uffs w
Suggestion
stuff
ithout going to the store due to it. It means that we can enhanced by information and save the time. In the future, there will be much better things to support comfort.
Ho
wever
Accept comma addition
However, this
this
 convenience brings many problems to our society.
Firstly
, the electronics make in connection among people. We can talk with friends and family in
t
Suggestion
on
he screen whenever we want. So people do not have necessity to meet face to face.
Finally
, it causes discontinuity to
o
Suggestion
in
ur community and we do not interact on
e
Suggestion
with
ach other anymore.
Secondly
, there is the la
ke o
the state of needing something that is absent or unavailable
lack
f jobs. Along the advance of electronic devices, works by
h
Suggestion
of
uman are replaced to them. So many people have a difficulty to get a job and the rate of un
employee h
not engaged in a gainful occupation
unemployed
as been increased. Actually, according to a recent study, it shows that su
fficiant a
of a quantity that can fulfill a need or requirement but without being abundant
sufficient
mount of jobs has been disappeared because of re
placement b
Suggestion
replaced
y co
mputer.
Suggestion
a computer
Consequently
, it brings the financial issue to our society. To sum up, the electronic things make us co
mfortable but i
Accept comma addition
comfortable, but
f we strongly depend on them, we will face to
s
Suggestion
with
erious issues
such
 as discontinuity and disappear of jobs.
Submitted by bjsean on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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