In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid word. Some people regard this completely wrong, while others consider it to be valuable work experience, which is important for learning and talking responsibility . What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While It has recently been observed in several nations that Juveniles are seeking for salaried employment to fulfil their needs, Whereas, it's argued by a few people that they detest
this
Linking Words
way while of child life, whereas, others appreciate the act and believe that it will fortune them in the long run.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I am completely in the favour of the former and I am of the opinion that working part time as a child will have a ton of drawbacks coming and the essay will be substantiated with relevant examples following below. To initiate, there are various reasons why it is a demerit to them to work,
To begin
Linking Words
with, Firistly, they will be lured by the money that they will be making while declining their level of interest in the education which would have been the prime focus during that maturity. According to a recent survey, it states that, students who began working from their early age were not notably aware of schooling terminologies and denied admission.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it deteriorates them by making them excessively vulnerable to exploitation at the hands of their employees and employer
thus
Linking Words
making them helpless to take a stand.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, whereas, it deteriorates their physical and mental well being, exposing them to various lifestyle diseases
such
Linking Words
as anxiety, depression and long standing posture issues. In conclusion, I totally believe, gaining employment in the early youth leads to various problems, while related to mental, physical and distressing at various fronts and recommend that children should avoid taking up jobs in the early life whereas it leads to a ton of issues psychologically and physically.
Submitted by steffyoconnor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: