Topic: Some sociologists say that, it is a waste of time for students to pursue secondary education for 12 years. It is better to shorten it to 9 years only, then go to vocational school to learn a skill applied in their jobs or go to university to get a degree. To what extent do you agree with this?

#topic #sociologists #waste #time #students #education #years #school #skill #jobs #university

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It is believed that students should only set aside nine-year secondary

education

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then

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do the vocational training or attend universities in order to save time. From my perspective, while I am in agreement with the statement above, I remain supportive of the idea that learners are encouraged to pursue the twelve-year for satisfactory completion. To commence with, students complete their secondary

education

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within nine years extend opportunities to develop their potential skills. People who have talent in creative fields

such

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as arts, acting or dancing need to gain hands-on experience rather than theoretical knowledge; as they must apply what they learn into realistic situations. In those cases, three extra years of higher

education

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Suggestion

are

no longer necessary;

instead

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, pursuing an acting course or involving in some music

gameshows

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seems to be more practical and useful.

Besides

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, we have truly admired many billionaires who dared to drop out of high school to

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

their dream and currently they own a great amount of fortune.

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, it is no stretch to say that following a nine-year curriculum is the key to happiness and a promising career.

On the other hand

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, universal high school

education

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is strongly promoted in many countries in the world owing to its importance. Educators compile twelve-year training from primary to professional levels in order to afford children with the most stable backgrounds before reaching adulthood.

This

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results from the fact that they can acquire profound insights into both science and society during the class period.

Also

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, a High School Diploma is deemed equitable evidence of hard work so recruiters are likely to select those with one among a pool of job applicants.

Conversely

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/Meanwhile, drop-out students have few chances to gain high salary jobs because innovative curriculum force them to complete high school before attending universities Apparently, not only does a twelve-year

education

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benefit individuals but it

also

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brings growth and

evolvement

the act of sharing in the activities of a group

involvement

Suggestion

human beings. In conclusion, each form of

education

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perfects people in its own way so the merits are on over-reliance on individual passion and purposes. We must identify our final destination to make

the clearest

Suggestion

the clear

choice.

Submitted by hường nguyễn thúy on Thu May 28 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

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