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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view

#people #government #money #arts
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Nowadays, a lot of researchers have been studying the importance of culture and arts
on
Suggestion
in
 the
people
Suggestion
person's
 life, and they have realized that
arts
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the arts
 may change and improve how people think and do things in their lives.
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However some
Accept comma addition
However, some
 governments have been thinking to lower the investment in the arts and place
to
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in
 public service.
First
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 of all, I strongly believe that investments in the arts are very important because we need to form a population thinking not just people that do what have to do but think and realize ways to do stuffs with another perceptive.
For
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instance there
Accept comma addition
instance, there
 are many researching in the world about the benefits of
be
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being
 involved with
arts
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the arts
 can save people like when a person is depressive and start playing an instrument as a consequence getting better results and sometime until be cured. Of course I agree that investments in public service
is
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are
 essential,
thus
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 cannot eliminate or reduce the money for the arts.
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Moreover both
Accept comma addition
Moreover, both
 are vital for the population and governments need to consider to keep investments in both of them.
Although
Linking Words
 some people thinks is difficult to manage them, I
absoulutelly
completely and without qualification; used informally as intensifiers
absolutely
 trust
that is
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 possible with a great hard-working and including talented people to administrate and improve the way is today. To conclude, I strongly agree
in
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with
keep
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keeping
 both investments and think
on
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of
about
 another way to build more capital and never financing arts will be
waste
Suggestion
wasting
 money. If the government needs money, they have to find others areas to reduce cost as for
exempla
an item of information that is typical of a class or group
example
 cut down politics salary.
Submitted by renae.peynado on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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