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Band 5.5

In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#world #companies #government #conduct #research
The involvement of private companies in financially supporting and carrying out scientific activities has both benefits and downsides.
Although
 under some circumstances,
this
 involvement could be at a disadvantage, I would agree that profound benefits to the efficiency of findings and the labour market could outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, the increasing number of studies sponsored by private firms would result in numerous opportunities for the labour force. Since there are more
research
 activities in different areas, there will be higher demand
in
Change preposition
for
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 a diverse and prominent workforce.
Additionally
, with a financial advantage, private companies would offer more generous payment for
research
 workers, compared to state-owned firms.
Thus
, people are more motivated to study and work in the
research
 fields, leading to a well-qualified workforce.
Secondly
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
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to guarantee their economic benefits, private businesses would place administrative operations, and the evaluation and quality control process under closer supervision.
Hence
, their findings tend to have better real-life application and minimum potential procedural errors, which are significantly beneficial to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
However
, private firms are limited to an array of
research
 related to homeland security, it should be more of the
governments'
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government's
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 responsibility to
financially
Change the word
financial
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 aid.
This
 is because in order to meet all the security principles,
such
 programmes should be tightly controlled by the governments and conducted by the national scientific teams.
For instance
, any studies on nuclear weapons or renewable energy should be administered, conducted and tested by leading scientists and experienced workers who are nationally qualified.
To conclude
, it is undeniable that when private sectors are involved,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of scientific
research
 to the whole society could exceed
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
, despite some essential
research
 which requires the aid of governments.
Submitted by Minh Trần on

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task response
Provide a clearer and more direct answer to the question in the introduction, and touch on both the advantages and disadvantages in more detail throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use stronger topic sentences to guide the reader through each paragraph, and ensure that each point is supported with clear and relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
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