IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people have decide to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environments benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individiuals and businesses?

As environmental awareness rises, more
individuals
Use synonyms
 are choosing to fly less or avoid flying altogether.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 change may inconvenience travellers and impact businesses, I strongly believe that the environmental
benefits
Use synonyms
 it brings far outweigh its drawbacks. One of the most significant environmental
benefits
Use synonyms
 of cutting down on air
travel
Use synonyms
 is the reduction in greenhouse gas emissions.
Airplanes
Change the spelling
Aeroplanes
show examples
 release vast amounts of carbon dioxide and other pollutants into the atmosphere, contributing directly to global warming.
For example
Linking Words
, a single long-haul flight can produce as much CO2 as several months of driving. By flying less,
individuals
Use synonyms
 help decrease
overall
Linking Words
 carbon output, which is a crucial step in addressing the climate crisis.
In addition
Linking Words
, reduced demand for flights put pressure on the aviation industry to develop greener technologies. As more people avoid flying, airlines are likely to invest in sustainable alternatives
such
Linking Words
 as biofuels or electric aircraft.
This
Linking Words
 not only
benefits
Use synonyms
 the environment in the long term but
also
Linking Words
 accelerates the global transition toward cleaner energy sources.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with fewer flights, there is less noise pollution and
reduced
Correct article usage
a reduced
show examples
 need to expand airports, helping to protect natural habitats and nearby communities. It is true that some
individuals
Use synonyms
 may find it difficult to visit loved ones or
travel
Use synonyms
 for leisure, and businesses may find challenges in coordinating international operations.
However
Linking Words
, these inconveniences are becoming entirely addressed through video conferencing, remote work, and more sustainable
travel
Use synonyms
 options like trains.
While
Linking Words
 these changes may require adaptation, they are relatively minor compared to the long-term consequences of climate change.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the environmental advantages of reducing air
travel
Use synonyms
 clearly outweigh the disadvantages faced by
individuals
Use synonyms
 and companies. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 flying less may pose short-term difficulties, the long-term environmental
benefits
Use synonyms
, including lower emissions and sustainable innovation, make it a worthwhile and necessary shift.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix small grammar mistakes, for example 'put pressure' should be 'puts pressure'.
examples
Add one more specific example from a real country or company to show proof.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas connect.
structure
Make the conclusion a bit wider by restating the main idea in a new way.
content
Clear view that the environmental gain outweighs the losses.
structure
Good plan with intro, body and end.
examples
Good use of examples like CO2 and video calls.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: