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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts illustrate the percentage of citizens in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Italia
Correct your spelling
Italy
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 based on three
age
Use synonyms
 groups and projections for 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 under 14
years
Use synonyms
 accounted for the majority of the population of
Yemen
Use synonyms
, most Italians were
at
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15- 59
years
Use synonyms
. It is predicted that the populations of two both countries will become older in 2050. In 2000,
people
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 in the 0-14
age
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 group comprised
a
Remove the article
apply
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half of the population of
Yemen
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 Italians in the same bracket just took up 14,3%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 15-59 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 made up 46,3%
while
Linking Words
 in
Use synonyms
Italia
Correct your spelling
Italy
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 the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 bracket was nearly
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
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, at 61,6%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, residents over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 constituted the minority of its population at 3,6%
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 group in
Italia
Use synonyms
 was nearly a quarter. In 2050, It is estimated that
people
Use synonyms
 below 14
years
Use synonyms
 old in both
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Italia
Correct your spelling
Italy
show examples
 will decrease to reach 37% and 11,5% respectively
while
Linking Words
 citizens over 60
years
Use synonyms
 in the two countries will ascend to hit 5,7% and 42,3% each. Meanwhile,
people
Use synonyms
 in the middle
age
Use synonyms
 group
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 predicted to rise to reach more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half, at 57,3% in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and drop to hit 46,2% in
Italia
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, italia, age, people, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population distribution
  • age group
  • population pyramid
  • projections
  • young population
  • aging population
  • demographic shift
  • increase in elderly population
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • population dynamics
  • top-heavy
  • balanced age distribution
  • healthcare needs
  • pension provision
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