Some people think parents should not encourage children to do part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays, in our over consumptive society, working plays a vital role in our's and our family's sustaining. Due to

this

ever increasing importance, some parents send their children to work part-time in their teenage years, while others argue that

this

course of action is not beneficial for their child. In my opinion working from a young age is very important. In

this

essay I will discuss both views.

Firstly

, the benefits for the young one and the family are numerous. At

first

glance, because of the money that the teenager will be collecting, through his hard-earned labour, it will give him the feel of being independent and help him realise what is waiting for him in the future.

Moreover

, due to the above, the individual will, in most cases

Accept space

mature faster

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with multiple positive outcomes for him. To illustrate, from my own experience being employed in a restaurant from the age of 15, I had the chance to view the world with a different eye and make better and more mature decisions in my life,

such

as following a career in medicine.

Lastly

, the payout of his job can help out his parents, so that they can have more economic freedom.

On the other hand

, there are some negative views on

this

case.

First

of all, part-time labour can accumulate most of the free-time that teenagers have to either study or have extracurricular activities.

As a result

, some students might see a decrease in their grades and disregard their future, while

also

, the lack of hobbies might affect their mental stability.

For example

, a study carried out by the University of Cambridge, showed that, children that have a lack of leisure activities have a 10% more likely to be depressed in the future.

Finally

, the fatigue, due to the workload and lack of sleep can

also

affect his school performance. In conclusion, having a part-time job as a youngster has positive and negative aspects to it. But, it's my firm belief that, with the correct monitoring from the youngster's parents

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it can help him prosper in his life.

Submitted by yiannisperros99 on Sat May 30 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Task 2: Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative impact on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving chilren this message?

‏For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extend do you agree?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?