IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #outweigh
Many countries of the world are having higher number of young people than older aged groups.
This
 essay will argue that the advantages of
this
 outweigh the shortcomings.
This
 essay will
first
 present that young populations do not only help to achieve economic growth, but
also
 innovations followed by the analysis of how the primary drawback known as lack of experience, is not valid. Higher sum of young adults in a state aid the nation with increased economic benefits. Young people are considered to be able to work harder than the older people, which leads to increased economic activities.
For instance
, Japan is said to be achieved economic success due to the hard work of their increased percentage of young adults.
Furthermore
, young adults highly benefit the realm to achieve excellence in the field of innovation. Naturally, young brains are blessed with cognitive benefits which enables a person to be innovative.
For example
, most of the groundbreaking discoveries are made by the scientist at their young age.
Therefore having
Accept comma addition
Therefore, having
 a higher figure of young people is advantageous to a
country
 as it increases the chance of innovation which may bring benefits for that nation. The other school of thought exists which suggests that having a higher proportion of young people in a
country
 can make the
country
 suffer from lack of inexperience in different fields.
However
, there persists no valid evidence on
such
 claim rather countries depended on young individuals are found to outperform in every aspect compared to the countries largely depended on older aged cohort. In summary, having a higher ratio of young adults to the older people in the population of a
country
 leads to the increased economic growth and innovation and these advantages clearly outweighs the flawed argument that it may cause
country
 to suffer from lack of experience in different fields.
Submitted by Ferdous Farhana Huq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic composition
  • economic dynamism
  • dependency ratio
  • social services
  • pension systems
  • technological adeptness
  • innovative workforce
  • national savings
  • educational demand
  • employment opportunities
  • crime rates
  • economic disparity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: