IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work
Over the past few years, people have forgotten the importance of artists in a society,
as a result
 they are living hand-to-mouth.
Hence
, some believe that governments should subsidize these artists. I completely agree with the above statement because of the following reasons.
To begin
 with, artists are the face of a country and its
culture
. Their
work
such
 as paintings, music and traditional clothing showcase a nation’s
culture
.
Thus
, their art is valuable to educate the future generation about their country’s
culture
 and history.
Further
, these people attract enormous
tourism which
Accept comma addition
tourism, which
 in turn brings more money into a nation.
Foreigners especially
Accept comma addition
Foreigners, especially
 visit
to
being one more than one
two
 countries with
vast art
Suggestion
a vast art culture
vast art cultures
culture
 as they want to explore new traditions.
For instance
, India is famous for its various art
forms namely
Accept comma addition
forms, namely
 Kathak Dance, Classical Music and Madhuram Paintings.
Hence
, in my view, governments should support artists as they keep a nation’s
culture
 alive and bring tourism.
In addition
 to
this
, talented artists like painters can help governments to build traditional buildings with beautiful paintings depicting a country’s tradition. These buildings keep a nation’s customs alive for decades.
Finally
, nowadays,
as a result
od
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
 globalization, a large number of people buy decoration pieces from various multinationals
instead
 buying them from local vendors.
This
 affects a nation’s economy drastically;
therefore
, officials need to financially support artists and encourage citizens to purchase goods from them.
Thus
, I believe that the government servants should provide funding
to
Suggestion
for
artists
Suggestion
an artist's work
artist's work
the artist's work
artists' work
work
 as their
work
 not only helps in constructing traditional buildings, but could
also
 help in increasing a nation’s economy. To conclude, it seems that the governments should
also
 provide employment opportunities
to
Suggestion
for
 artists as their
work
 has a great value.
Submitted by Jesus Christ on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: