IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

All big businesses should give a percentage of their profits to charities. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#businesses #percentage #profits #charities
It is sometimes thought that big industries ought to share a small proportion of their income to charities. In my opinion, giving a certain amount of money to all foundations will be awkward and
therefore
, it should be given to certain funds.
Firstly
, many companies will probably decline to share their wages with charities for a simple reason because it is highly expensive. Perhaps the best example of my argument will be Google and Facebook, campaigns which have recently declared that they spend about a half of their incomes on employees' wages.
Moreover
, there is a huge array of businesses that are still paying for rents. Another point to consider is that some foundations today are beginners.
In other words
, these industries have not enough experience in
such
 niches and
thus
, they will unreasonably waste the shared money.
This
 will have a far-reaching impact on both individuals and funds.
Finally
, big companies should give their wages to charities that mainly assists to the poor. Doing
this
 means that there are will be less poor societies. Take the example of Africa, a lot of people are suffering from country poverty as they can't afford buying dairy products
such
 as bread and milk In conclusion, I believe that sharing a certain percentage of money to every foundation is problematic for some reasons that I have just examined above and
therefore
 it should be shared with some charities.
Submitted by Zulfia on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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