IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that schools should reward students with the best academic results, while others believe it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Opinions are divided as to how schools should use their rewards to encourage their
students
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. Many argue that
students
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 who show the best academic performance should be rewarded; others,
however
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, maintain that it is better to give prizes to those who exhibit improvement. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both these views and show why I favour the latter. On the one hand, it is understandable why some believe that credit should be given to
students
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 who
achieved
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achieve
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 the best grades. Their rationale is that these
students
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 deserve praise and compliments for the efforts they have put
and
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in and
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 what they have attained.
This
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 form of encouragement seems even more sensible when teachers help their
students
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 understand that
this
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 situation resembles
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real life where only people who excel in their field can secure a decent job.
However
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, the elite
students
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 may become complacent and do not see the need to improve themselves if they always top the class.
This
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 is possible when other
students
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 feel they cannot compete with them after failing to do so
for
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apply
show examples
several times.
Therefore
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,
this
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rewarding
Replace the word
reward
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 scheme can be counterproductive.
On the other hand
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, I believe that it is for the best to reward
students
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 who strive to improve their academic performance. One reason for
this
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 is that
such
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 an incentive can motivate both excellent and average
students
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 to try constantly, regardless of how they have been performing. With regard to the former,
this
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 can drive them to compete with themselves, which can result in them performing even better. As for the latter,
this
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 can arouse/kindle their interest in studying, gradually enhancing their grades.
In addition
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, the burden on teachers can be shared when most of their
students
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 choose to attempt
for
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apply
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the rewards and
then
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 improve academically, and in the long run,
this
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 would improve the
overall
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 educational outcomes. In conclusion,
although
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 it is justifiable to only reward top
students
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, I believe that schools should reward those who show signs of improvement as all
students
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 would be motivated to apply themselves, which ultimately brings desirable results.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, particularly regarding the benefits of rewarding improvement. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You can include linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines the two views and clearly states your opinion, setting a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well and reinforces your stance, wrapping up the essay nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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