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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the modern world, using animals for food or animal products, such as clothing and medicines, is no longer necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
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animals
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 have traditionally been used for food or clothing, recent developments suggest these practices are no longer essential.
This
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 essay agrees that
such
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 use is outdated because of available alternatives and clear
health
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 benefits;
although
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 some communities still rely on animal
products
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, modern options offer a more sustainable future.
To begin
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 with, technology has created many useful alternatives to animal-based
products
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.
For example
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, plant-based meats now taste and feel similar to real meat,
while
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 offering similar nutrition. Materials like fake leather or wool
also
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last
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 long without harming
animals
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.
As a result
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, many companies now use cruelty-free materials, showing these
products
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 can still be popular and profitable.
In addition
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, avoiding animal
products
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 can improve
health
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. Plant-based diets are linked to lower risks of diseases like heart problems because they reduce harmful fats.
For instance
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, Canada’s
health
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 guidelines now recommend more plant-based protein
instead
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 of meat. As more people change their eating habits, countries have seen better public
health
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,
such
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 as lower obesity and heart disease rates. Some people argue that
animals
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 are still needed in places with extreme weather or limited resources.
While
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this
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 may be true in remote areas like parts of Canada or Mongolia, it is more about access than true necessity.
However
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, with government help like food programs or better transport, even these areas could slowly move toward plant-based living. In conclusion, even though some areas still use animal
products
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, new technologies and the
health
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 benefits of plant-based diets show that
animals
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 are no longer needed for food or clothing in most places. If more people choose these modern options, the world can move toward a healthier and kinder future.

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task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and has a clear structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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