As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities

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Today, more and more businesses are developing in all over the world. People believe that

besides

Linking Words

focusing on profit, businesses should be responsible for social issues. I’m convinced by

this

Linking Words

statement for some reasons.

Firstly

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, companies earn huge profits, they

also

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pay more taxes. The government's avenue is contributed mostly from those taxes. By collecting taxes from businesses, government could spend them on buying equipment for hospitals and schools.

Therefore

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, patients and children are two main objects who

takeadvantages

Suggestion

take advantages

of.

Moreover

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, successful businesses which make money open many branches in many places,

this

Linking Words

action

act

Suggestion

acts

a vital role in creating jobs for the unemployed who are

thirst

Suggestion

thirsting

thirsty

thirstier

for jobs.

Secondly

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, business should not kill the environment;

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contrast they

Accept comma addition

contrast, they

must protect it. A lot of companies nowadays cannot do

this

Linking Words

because

this

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affects their profits. Many factories release carbon Dioxide causing global warming through these emissions.

For Example

Linking Words

, Formosa Company discharged tons of toxic waste

in to

expresses motion to a point on, or within, something

into

the

river causing

Accept comma addition

river, causing

many diseases for people living around

this

Linking Words

area. Successful Businesses should donate money for society through charity or scholarships for poor

house hold

a social unit living together

household

and hard working students just like Vinamilk donated tons of milk for poor children each year. In conclusion, with all of the ideas I have mentioned above. I’m completely agreed that

beside

in addition to; as well as

besides

making money, businesses should focus on the society

also

Linking Words

since it helps to develop our country and bring it to a higher level.

Submitted by Quan on Sun May 31 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

238 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social responsibilities
Corporate social responsibility
Ethical behavior
Societal impact
Stakeholders
Profit-driven
Public perception
Environmental sustainability
Community development
Human rights
Workplace safety
Altruism
Balanced approach
Accountability
Consumer loyalty

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As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.