As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities

Today, more and more businesses are developing in all over the world. People believe that

besides

focusing on profit, businesses should be responsible for social issues. I’m convinced by

this

statement for some reasons.

Firstly

, companies earn huge profits, they

also

pay more taxes. The government's avenue is contributed mostly from those taxes. By collecting taxes from businesses, government could spend them on buying equipment for hospitals and schools.

Therefore

, patients and children are two main objects who

takeadvantages

Suggestion

take advantages

of.

Moreover

, successful businesses which make money open many branches in many places,

this

action

act

Suggestion

acts

a vital role in creating jobs for the unemployed who are

thirst

Suggestion

thirsting

thirsty

thirstier

for jobs.

Secondly

, business should not kill the environment;

contrast they

Accept comma addition

contrast, they

must protect it. A lot of companies nowadays cannot do

this

because

this

affects their profits. Many factories release carbon Dioxide causing global warming through these emissions.

For Example

, Formosa Company discharged tons of toxic waste

in to

expresses motion to a point on, or within, something

into

the

river causing

Accept comma addition

river, causing

many diseases for people living around

this

area. Successful Businesses should donate money for society through charity or scholarships for poor

house hold

a social unit living together

household

and hard working students just like Vinamilk donated tons of milk for poor children each year. In conclusion, with all of the ideas I have mentioned above. I’m completely agreed that

beside

in addition to; as well as

besides

making money, businesses should focus on the society

also

since it helps to develop our country and bring it to a higher level.

Submitted by Quan on Sun May 31 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social responsibilities
Corporate social responsibility
Ethical behavior
Societal impact
Stakeholders
Profit-driven
Public perception
Environmental sustainability
Community development
Human rights
Workplace safety
Altruism
Balanced approach
Accountability
Consumer loyalty

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As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment> IT would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.

These days, mobile phone and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people with a good education and experience in their field decide to move abroad to work. Why do you think that is? What are the problems caused by this?