In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport

There are different views regarding the government's focus on

transportation

improvement.

While

there is a strong pro-opinion on investing in the construction of bullet

trains

and railway lines that connect cities, others support the idea of upgrading current public

transport

infrastructures and services more. Personally, I agree with the first idea because speedy

trains

would help the country achieve more than just

transportation

excellence. It is true that public

transport

is playing a big role in people’s lives, especially in hectic big cities. Public

transport

provides customers, like students and professional workers, an affordable option for moving from point A to B. Improvement in

this

area means better services that cover a wide range of values,

such

as more carrying capacity, faster speed, bigger area coverage, cheaper price, and superior comfortability. Those refinements would definitely reduce the usage of private

transportation

modes like cars and motorcycles, which in the end would

also

solve the congestion and environmental problems. One of the independent studies proved that a capital city like Jakarta benefited from the development of MRT (Mass Rapid Transfer), by reducing those factors by up to 25% and increasing the city’s economic growth rates by 15%.

However

, the construction of very fast intercity

trains

also

crucial in a greater scope.

While

existing public

transport

improvement helps the community to reach the pinnacle of

transportation

excellence, the bullet

trains

aim a higher target of achieving fairer economic distribution nationwide. To explain, the connectivity created by the very fast train networks generates accessibility to people in rural areas.

In addition

to that, the shorter duration reduces the need for housing in the inner city area.

Furthermore

this

also

leads to the enhancement of people's purchasing power where they would spend the money they earn in the big cities on small businesses around their homes in rural areas.

This

is a proven concept and is already being implemented by advanced nations like Japan and China. In conclusion,

although

spending money on existing public

transportation

would mostly increase the happiness of customers, the investment in bullet

trains

is more important because of a bigger impact.

Submitted by gurunnevada on Mon Dec 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your essay maintains a clear logical structure throughout. While your essay was adequately structured, some transitions between ideas could have been smoother to enhance the overall flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

Include a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay did well in doing this, which set the stage for discussion and effectively summarized the main points towards the end.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with clear and specific examples. While you did provide examples, some seemed generalized. More specific references, data, or studies could have enhanced your argument's persuasiveness.

Task Achievement

Ensure a complete response to all parts of the task, presenting a balanced discussion and a clear opinion. You have done this but could further balance the discussion by allocating equal space to both views before presenting your opinion.

Task Achievement

Develop clear and comprehensive ideas within your essay. You showed a good ability in concept development but pay attention to providing equal elaboration for all perspectives to fulfill the task requirement.

Task Achievement

Use relevant and specific examples to back up your points. You included an example about Jakarta, but more specific details or additional examples could strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

352 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

infrastructure
efficient
congestion
sustainable
environmentally friendly
connectivity
economic growth
public transportation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people believe that exams are an inappropriate way of measuring student’s performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
There is no doubt that these days the student feel more not cmfortable with the test paper because they don't trust their abilities and this is a stage of their stress.The question is Some believe that tests are an inappropriate way to measure student performance and should be replaced by continuous evaluations?
4
band
**oth government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly.** **Do you agree or disagree with this statement?** Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Pollution is a serious global problem although pollution which is caused by traffic is one which it can be tackled. I would agree that the main way of doing this would be to invest in public transport systems. However, there are also other ways.People need to travel in order to go to work. Many people choose to travel to work in private cars which cause traffic jams in many cities twice a day, but also more serious problem. The fumes from these cars cause air pollution and this results in poor quality, harmful air in our cities. These fumes are also a major cause for global warming. If people use public transport instead of driving then this problem would be dramatically reduced.Cost and convenience are big factors in people’s choice of transports. For this reason governments need to invest money to ensure that they have a transport system which is more effective than having private car. This means that the transport system is reliable and can be transporting large numbers of people...
5.5
band
Some people believe that purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Many opine that the goal of studying at educational centres that cause becoming literate should be provided for individuals to become useful for society. However ,some people claim that it should aid individuals to attain their aspirations. From my point of view , the purpose of education should be provided to follow humans' choices and goals.
5
band
Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.
It is true that these days people are spending a bigger proportion of their money on beauty care than ever before. Although there are some negative consequences to this, men and women can take certain steps to reduce the potential problems caused by this.
8
band
Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that children can improve their knowledge by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both in their daily and school lives. In spite of that, I totally disagree with this idea since it may cause weak communication skills among the young generation and passive learning styles are not efficient enough to learn any sort of subjects.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that exams are an inappropriate way of measuring student’s performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people believe that purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?