Some people believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of schoolchildren is to make physical education compulsory in all schools.

#people #schoolchildren #education #schools

While some people do think that gym classes are necessary for children to improve their happiness, others see them as not so necessary.

This

essay will discuss the both aspects of that.

To begin

with the positive aspects of having P.E. c

lasses,

Suggestion

Classes

first

of all, exercise is always needed in order to have both physical and mental health. People, including children and adults, usually should walk for longer than about one hour every day. If schools have a compulsory gym c

lasses,

Suggestion

class

children do not have to spend extra hours for exercising.

Also

, playing sports can help people to improve their team-building abilities. The fact that children need other members to play team sports can be an important reason that schools should have t

eam sports practice

Suggestion

a team sports practice

in the class. Turning to the negative aspect of having gym classes, I mentioned earlier that exercise is needed for children, but they can just move their bodies outside their classes.

In addition

, obviously there are many people who do not like or are not good at playing team sports, so

this

can be one of the factors for children not to want to go to

school

anymore. In conclusion, there are, of course, pros and cons of having a physical education c

lasses

Suggestion

class

school

. In my view, it is not necessary to have those classes at

school

. I believe that children should have rights to make their own decisions, and I want the society to know that there are a lot of people that are unhappy and stressed when they have to play sports.

However

, I think arts, including sports, music, and painting, are closely related to our happiness.

Therefore

, in the future, I hope children can decide what type of art c

lass he

Accept comma addition

class, he

or she will take in their

school

life.

Submitted by Soichi Homma on Sun May 31 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of schoolchildren is to make physical education compulsory in all schools.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tools. others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of videogames outweigh the benefits?

should human adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point.

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?