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Band 6

Some people believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of schoolchildren is to make physical education compulsory in all schools.

#people #schoolchildren #education #schools
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While some people do think that gym classes are necessary for children to improve their happiness, others see them as not so necessary.
This
 essay will discuss the both aspects of that.
To begin
 with the positive aspects of having P.E. c
lasses,
Suggestion
Classes
first
 of all, exercise is always needed in order to have both physical and mental health. People, including children and adults, usually should walk for longer than about one hour every day. If schools have a compulsory gym c
lasses,
Suggestion
class
 children do not have to spend extra hours for exercising.
Also
, playing sports can help people to improve their team-building abilities. The fact that children need other members to play team sports can be an important reason that schools should have t
eam sports practice
Suggestion
a team sports practice
in the class. Turning to the negative aspect of having gym classes, I mentioned earlier that exercise is needed for children, but they can just move their bodies outside their classes.
In addition
, obviously there are many people who do not like or are not good at playing team sports, so
this
 can be one of the factors for children not to want to go to
school
 anymore. In conclusion, there are, of course, pros and cons of having a physical education c
lasses
Suggestion
class
at
school
. In my view, it is not necessary to have those classes at
school
. I believe that children should have rights to make their own decisions, and I want the society to know that there are a lot of people that are unhappy and stressed when they have to play sports.
However
, I think arts, including sports, music, and painting, are closely related to our happiness.
Therefore
, in the future, I hope children can decide what type of art c
lass he
Accept comma addition
class, he
or she will take in their
school
 life.
Submitted by Soichi Homma on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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